Games can sometimes be a little bit tense; or they can be so gruesome that you can’t bare to continue staring at it. There are lots of reasons why you may struggle to watch something unfold, be it grounded in reality or absurdity. Whatever the reason, you chose this one, you strange people, so here are our Top 10 Hard To Watch Moments In Games.
Oh and small warning; there’s a lot of horror in this one. (more…)
Video Games are so serious these days, from the latest in Call of Duty to the emotionally intensive games like Heavy Rain. But that doesn’t mean that some games aren’t made with such a ridiculous concept in mind that we can’t even get our heads around them. This week as voted for by you, dear GeekOut readers, we’re going to take a trip through the Top 10 Ridiculous Game Premises.
Let’s get some quick ground rules out of the way with here: This isn’t about Oh I understand i,t so it’s not ridiculous. No, instead we’re on about a concept that is utterly bizarre, which makes you scratch your head as to simply the word “Why?” Without further adieu, here is our Top 10 for this week.
10 – P.T.
You must wander around a house, seemingly infinitely, whilst ever so slight changes happen. Welcome to the bizarre mind of Hideo Kojima. Other than that, you see some nasty looking dental problems, along with more grotesque figures, such as an actual foetus in a sink. Lovely…
Don’t forget that P.T was made for what was going to be an upcoming blockbuster title in a well established franchse. Silent Hills was suddenly cancelled which begs the question… Why was P.T. ever made? As a promo piece, it served its purpose, but without the game that it was promoting, it’s now just a hallow shell of its once great self. Pity.
9 – Super Monkey Ball
Monkey? Get out of that ball! What are you doing in there? Who gave you that? Tilt the world to get the monkeys to the end goal, that’s right, move a planet to get the monkeys some bananas on their way home! And how are they even getting the bananas from inside of that bubble?
Aiai, MeeMee, Baby and Gongon have no less than nineteen games based on this exact premise, although they are wizards at milking an idea for every penny it’s worth. So for as long as you like shoving monkeys in hamster balls and rolling them around from point A to point B via banana, then I guess the series will live on.
8 – Continue?9876543210
No that’s not a mistype, that is literally the name of this game, but it makes a lot more sense the moment you look into what the game is about. It’s a strong message within a game, a powerful message, even if it wasn’t intended to be as such. It really got me out of a rut, weirdly, but the premise of the game is so bizarre it’s barely worth mentioning… But here we go.
You are a fallen hero from a video game. You are in what is basically the compilers heap, ready to be deleted by the Garbage Collector. You, however, have become sentient and do not want to be deleted. You fight, a real struggle, to survive… And you keep fighting on.
7 – Super Mario
Ok, I’m an accomodating guy, I love my fantasy worlds and I’m perfectly ok with the damsel in distress cliche. Kidnapped by a dragon turtle/gorilla in a bow-tie you say, and she rules over a race of sentient mushrooms who have been turned into cubes? This is all perfectly acceptable. BUT WHY IS THEIR SAVIOUR AN ITALIAN PLUMBER?!?!?
Now please don’t think me boring and unwilling to accept the ludicrous, I’ll accept anything if it all chimes together nicely. But Mario and his siblings seem out of place in their own world and no cartoon or awful film can make it make sense.
6 – Spintires
Ok, we deliberated hard over this. Should this spot go to Goat Simulator? No, that was quite intentionally ridiculous, that’s its’ entire purpose and it serves it well. Farming Simulator then? Sure, that’d be fine, but we can surely go one better? Oh yes we can.
How about a simulator where you drive through mud? That’s all of it, you’re driving a range of all terrain vehicles across a wide variety of muddy and rocky terrain and obstacles to get from point A to point B. No harvest to bring in, no train timetable to keep to, nothing to lick and claim it as your own.
You’re just driving. Just driving…
5 – Guilty Gear
Many years on, I’m still none the wiser what the goals in any of the Guilty Gear games really are, so I hope the audience can take part and let me know, but let me recap this by explaining that the story goes as far back as the Germans going to Egypt and the Kaiser not being very appreciative of this slayed all bar one, who became “That Man”.
Mix this with the fact you have people in this fighting game franchise being made for war, weirdly enough known as Gears (funny that), you end up with some really convoluted stories. I mean let’s not lie about this, we also have characters such as the young boy raised as a girl who fights with Yo-Yos and teddy bears… Oh and we have the doctor who fights with a giant scalpel who can use it as a pogo stick and jump in and out of dimensions… Oh and don’t forget….
4 – Typing of the Dead
Have you ever wanted to play House of the Dead with just your keyboard? I bet if you’re one of those people who adored the arcades and wanted your House of the Dead rush from the home, you have typed commands such as WASD and Left click, Alt-Click, etc. Well now you don’t need to use such an uninventive system.
Instead, we’re given and actual keyboard, which has a model in game too. The keyboard represents the weapon against the hordes of zombies and demons. Yes, you literally type words to kill your enemies, as a sort of mashup between Mavis Beacons’ Typing class software and… Well… House of the Dead.
3 – Dinner Date
Because no real-world scenario offers as much drama, as much conflict, and as many insurmountable challenges. What kind of hero can overcome the true-to-life story of waiting for your date to show up? She’s running a bit late, and the forks are at an odd angle.
Amidst a wealth of ridiculous simulators, art-house games and interactive story telling experiences, what could be more stimulating than dealing with a man’s internal monologue and torturous self doubt as he waits for a date to show? How about a tea-party for your stuffed animals? That too is a thing that exists.
2 – Super Putty
Okay, this one is going to be a rollercoaster, so just sit right there and listen to the story of Super Putty. A game originally released for the SNES, Super Putty is a game where you play as a sentient… Putty… And you have fallen from Moon Putty from your spaceship. It is your job, as Putty, to go and get some machines to help you rebuild your spaceship and make your way back to Moon Putty.
This is one of the most obscure games I know of in this day and age, although it’s worth noting that Super Putty is one of those that’ll stick in your mind forever. It’s a game many appreciated greatly as a child and I still miss it, even if it did feature a freaky as all heck evil cat wizard nemesis.
1 – Katamari
When your premise begins “The King of the Entire Universe…” you know you’re onto a winner. Katamari returns to the top 10 once again, rolling past us with a cluster of freshly gathered sheep and a lamppost, being trundled along by the son of the King of the Entire Universe.
Seriously, you’re just rolling up stuff? All the stuff, just- you’ve basically got one of those jiggling balls from the 90’s that sticks everything to it. Rainbows? Ocotpuses? Skyscrapers? And it’s just too much fun to ignore!
Really there’s very little else to talk about here. Katamari Damashi reigns supreme amongst the preposterous gaming elite.
Some games are still just weird, you know? Or they are less weird, but they are different enough to envoke a reason for you to think “What is going on?” These are the guys who didn’t make the cut, but we wanted to give a nod to these awesome games.
A classic in video games, which features a yellow pizza-like man who runs around, gets chased by some ghosts and has to survive by eaitng power-pellets in order to eat the ghosts that would consume him. That by itself is all well and good for a retro video game. However, let’s now divulge the true secrets of Pac-Man (as described in my brain).
Pac-Man, a psychopathic criminal, hellbent on destruction and terror, has decided to wreak havoc once more upon the residents of his city. The recently departed are fed up with the constant terror that Pac-Man provides the city, so make it their quest, to put a stop to the yellow rebel. With narcotics and dellusional aspirations, Pac-Man believes he can rid the city of everyone, including the already deceased. The ghosts, Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde are therefore simply trying to put an end to the reign of terror of the viscious yellow beast.
There are other stories that people have made up over time, so I invite you to share with us your stories of Pac-Man.
Tim Schaefer makes weird concepts and then milks them for cash, and Costume Quest tops the odd pile he’s built for himself. As a trick-or-treater you adopt the powers of costumes you wear, in order to battle the mysterious forces that stole your brother or sister!
It’s not fully explained how, but it’s a cool idea that could only have spawned from a particularly weird mind. Ridiculous? Yeah, sure! But it’s still awesome.
Have you had enough of our ridiculous games? I sure as hell have, as I’m still struggling to understand what has happened with half of these games. But hey, why not let us know your thoughts in the comments and tell us if we missed a beat? In the mean time, why not decide what we write about next week? Choose between one of our three Top 10s and we’ll write about it.
Whilst you wait, hanging on our every word for more information, get involved in the comments below by saying if you felt our ordering was justified. Do you think we missed a game we should have included? Could YOU join in with a future Top 10? Let us know and we’ll see you all again next week for another Top 10!
Welcome back another issue of our Top 10! This week we’ve been made to look at the Top 10 Jump Scares in Gaming, because all of you lovely viewers want to see us suffer and jump and be reduced to blubber and tears.
Thanks guys. For the record, Timlah loved this one.