Spooky internet content – You know, the type of website, video, webcomic or otherwise that sits in the back of your mind once you’ve mentally digested it. Spooky and scary aren’t one of the same – However there is a lot of overlap between the two. To determine what we’re considering ‘spooky’, it’s got to have something that’ll make you think, or some element of the supernatural. So, without further adieu, here is our Top 10 Spooky Internet Content. (more…)
In 2016 New Line Cinema released a full length feature based on a short horror video that went viral back in 2013, Lights Out. If you’re not already familiar with it I’ve included it below, the premise is brilliantly simple and it’s little wonder that the idea caught the attention of big studios. I’m a big fan of the power of small creators getting their voices heard on the internet and making it big, it gives me hope, and kudos to David F. Sandburg for achieving what some of us can only dream about, but moving on from that optimistic tidbit.
Incidentally, the feature length version as it turns out is pretty good. So far as a short review goes, I’m glad they gave the director a decent shot and a good budget, and I hope it means more work for him in future. If I may remark on a couple of missteps that most of us could see coming, he uses the time to give the monster backstory and personality that she was scarier without. Still, he plays with the concept well, gets in a few good jump scares with that simple tension building technique. Moving on to the point I was getting to…
Increasingly we are seeing a problem emerging from the internet and it is the matter of copyright ownership, following the line of money and the source of creation, especially when an idea can spread faster than fire and inject itself so deep into the social consciousness that it becomes just another part of speech and of the way we interact with one another, terms like “trolling” are common parlance, internet celebrities becoming real celebrities, we are seizing the means of entertainment. Lights Out is a great example of this done well, YouTubers and Viners making it onto TV, musicians starting with internet distribution.
But there remains one very serious lack in communication and understanding, a generational gap at times, at others an apparently wilful spreading of misinformation to discredit the new kid on the block. Either way it usually ends up as a laughable disappointment, like parents trying their hardest to be “down with the kids”. Remember the CNN report about the hacker 4chan? It’s long established the memes die when pop culture grabs hold of it.
So next we come to Slender Man.
I love the internet’s bogeyman. As a huge Lovecraft fan I find myself wondering if he were alive today how close his creations would have come to that mysterious entity* that exists on the periphery of vision, and whose malevolence is only subject to conjecture. In his most popular depictions (the video game, the marblehornets series) he is seen as the classic “faceless pursuer” of nightmares, a warped depiction of a person devoid of features that we know instinctively to fear without ever really knowing exactly why we should fear him. We’re powerless, uncomprehending, and as good as dead.
The original creepypasta was the creation of Eric Knudson, but the concept has evolved, an idea that has grown bigger and bigger as more minds contributed to it; to say that it belongs to “us” may be a little (incredibly) overzealous, but is it something that should be in the hands of a big studio, and if they bring it to the screen do they then own it? So far the trailer has demonstrated… what?
Well, so far it all seems very mysterious I suppose, but the imagery thusfar has been that of the generically creepy, nonspecific flashes of insects, blood, surgery, teenagers compulsively writing and doing dangerous things with sharp objects, a teaser of a girl presenting something to police officers. The story will centre around a group of girls under The Operator’s control a la marblehornets, which is the second part of my problem.
General suspicions of corporate media groups aside, teenage girls, images of bloody violence and death, and Slender Man? Now I believe that no subject should be sacred, not even a word, it weaponizes it, makes it dangerous in its own right. Nevertheless, this does seem to cut close to the murders committed on behalf of a fictional character in 2014, no matter how disturbed the perpetrators may have been, it feels a little too “sensational” to make a supernatural thriller that plays into the fantasies behind a real crime.
I am not accusing anyone of sensationalising a crime, and after four years then perhaps it has been long enough. The proof will be in the proverbial pudding of course, if sufficient details are changed and enough common sense used then we may have an incredible creation on our hands, the culmination of countless creative hands creating a mythology so potent that it becomes as much a part of folklore as bigfoot.
Otherwise we have Snakes On a Plane meets True Crime.
*Despite the fact that such questions are completely counter to my views on causality.
A name you may have spotted floating around the internet lately: _9MOTHER9HORSE9EYES9
This is a Redditor who has been going into threads and leaving behind mostly unrelated short stories but with subtle ties to the overall topic. A thread that starts with a Spongebob .gif showing Patrick failing at trench warfare suddenly includes a story about a soldier in WW2. Clumsy and obnoxious creatures known as The Oily Ones find their place in a thread that opened with a video of a basketballer acting like an idiot on the court. Each story comes from nowhere, apparently no connection between threads, and only the most tenuous link to the content of the thread.
They have interwoven themes, international espionage, some form of grand competition for a mysterious technology known as a Flesh Interface, which generates a portal of sorts. There is a nemesis called Q, repeated discussions on CIA drug experiments, technologies, people, places, a deep and intricate construct spread across dozens of threads tracing back only a few weeks, and already spawning subreddits, theories, and a miniature fan base.
Who he or she is I find to be a far less interesting question than most. One of the most interesting talking points I’ve ever encountered is that graffiti is the highest form of art as it is neither for recognition or profit, and I think that this level of anonymous off-topic commenting to such a well-constructed degree is a fascinating form of art that only the internet could have ever supported. Or perhaps it’s some kind of viral marketing campaign, and if it is it’s clever enough tat I’m fully sold on whatever it’s trying to sell.
The mythos that has been built by the enigmatic author mixes sci-fi and horror, spread across decades of fictional history and created future, but ingrained into the real world in such a way that it’s almost Lovecraftian in its construction. There are personal records, official reports, poems, varying in length from long and rambling narratives, to a few gathered paragraphs that tell more that some full books ever could.
When I was little, they took mommy away and put me with a new mommy in a smelly dark house.
They said she was a real person, but I knew she wasn’t. They had made her.
Her face was made from pieces of animal.
- pig cheeks
- hairy goat jaw
- old horse eyes
They sewed her together badly, and the seams were crusty. I hated her.
Real mommy called me from underground. I opened the attic window at sundown and let the spring breeze flow in. I heard her song floating in on the cool air, soft singing from the grave.
I can say very little on the subject, because 9M9H9E9 is only a short lived phenomena at the moment, but a growing one. Whoever our mystery writer is, they’ve found an interesting new way of using the internet to tell a story, and I for one am watching curiously to see where it goes from here.
Life is full of great and wondrous things. Some things you know are great, worthy of our laughter, our applause and our support. There are some things which are so bad, that we just don’t talk about them. But what about the things which are so bad that they’re actually pretty damn funny? There’s a lot of things like this out there and that’s why we’ve been so vague. Join us as we have a look through our Top 10 Hilariously Bad Things.
We’re not limiting ourselves to anything in particular here. This isn’t an anime, or a video game, or a technology list. This is a list of all that is hilariously bad. I think you’re in for a treat if you’ve not heard of some of these.
With the shocking revelations from last week’s Top 10 that our good friend, The Otaku Judge has been trying to corrupt our dear readers to be as warped and as twisted as… Well, the rest of us… we had a clear winner for this weeks Top 10 list. We’re going to dig deep into Creepypastas. From the weird and the macabre, Creepypastas have had a huge impact on the internet and indeed on geek culture. What’s that? You don’t believe that Creepypastas have done anything for geek culture? Read on, you may be really surprised with some of these results.
Before we go into this one, a Creepypasta is generally a short story that is meant to make the reader feel creeped out, disturbed or downright disgusted. With this in mind, we had to look through the prose that was indeed a Creepypasta and look past the more real stories. That could potentially be a theme for another week… Still, here we go. Oh and WE ARE ALL DEAD. Not really.
10 – Jeff the Killer
Our number 10 entry is reserved to a bit of an anomaly on the Creepypasta list, because although this is one of the most famous Creepypasta characters known to the fandom, it’s also one of the worst. You see, when your character is just some character out for revenge because reasons and can do just about whatever it wants, especially when it’s an angsty teenager… Well, you know it’s not going to be the best.
However… I actually like the Jeff the Killer character and the stories. No, they’re not wonderful examples of Creepypasta, but look at what they’ve done! The stories have torn the community asunder in a really interesting way. There are those who look to mimic Jeff, some even going as far to literally copy the looks of the character as well as what it does. To find out more about this character, you should check out the original Creepypasta.
In Summary however: Jeff was a killer who would come in through the bedroom window of children. He’d appear at the foot of their beds and simply say “Go to sleep“. With his dark, cold eyes and his psychotic image, he’s a face no child forgets. With murderous intent, seeking vengeance against children as he deemed them cruel, which kind of makes sense considering these kids beat him and get his brother sent to jail. With an epic fight involving guns, vodka bottles and so much blood, eventually Jeff beats them off and goes insane… becoming Jeff the Killer. When I mentioned the vodka bottles and guns, did I mention these attackers were no older than 13? Huh…
9 – Smile Dog
One of the most infamous shock pictures on the internet comes in the form of Smile Dog, also known as smile.jpg. This ones story is actually pretty fun, so I’m just going to give you a condensed summary of it. Joel put it best when he said it seemed sort of “Ring” like… I guess it is, in it’s own magically tragic way.
The smile.jpg file came about from the early days of the internet. You know the times, BBSes were all of the rage (bulletin board systems). As well as this, viruses were spread as e-mail attachments, usually with some flavour text to entice the readers to double click on the file and open it up. Instead of a virus infecting a computer, the image was able to create absolute insanity to whomever may glance upon it. They would also then be compelled to share the image with others.
In some ways, this plays upon the Chain-Mail mentality from back in the day… and it’s a really fun read. Check out the original Creepypasta.
8 – Candle Cove
This one is a little special. A group of strangers on a message board piece together memories of a TV show they used to watch back in the earlier 70’s. Low budget, a little weird, even creepy at times, but hey what kids shows don’t have their darker side. There’s a whole mess of conspiracy theories surrounding Rugrats or Toy Story for example, but Candle Cove was never big enough or popular enough to have a conspiracy to its’ name.
The full series is nowhere to be found, but you can watch a few episodes on YouTube. It’s a little bit weird still to this day, terrifying as a child, but just a little weird now. I shan’t spoil the ending for you, but suffice to say that the final episode is not for kids, and no, it’s not actually from the 70’s.
Click this link for the original Creepypasta.
7 – Easter Egg – Snow on Mt. Silver
Do you find anything in the magical and colourful world of Pokemon to be disturbing? Good, I’m glad that you do. After all, it’s the series that gave us Lavender Town’s music. Couple this with the stories of high frequency and you’ve got yourself nightmare fuel. However, what if I were to tell you that there was a hidden gem of a Creepypasta which doesn’t rely on the Pokemon Creepypasta cliches? One that actually talks about what happens at the end of Pokemon SIlver…
A girl and her brother used to love playing the older Pokemon games as kids, so they reminisce about the good old days. They get themselves a copy of Pokemon Gen 2 (She had Gold, whereas he had Silver) and he also put a Gameshark into his GameBoy Advanced. He found a secret one called “Easter Egg – Snow on Mt Silver”. It drove him mad and she vowed to check out what the commotion was all about. As she plays through, in game, Gold looks very cold and all of the beloved Pokemon on her team starts to die from the frigid cold. She faces off against Red, whose Pokemon are even more dead and frostbitten looking than her own, getting worse as time goes by.
I’d heavily recommend this one for Pokemon Creepypasta fans. Read the original Creepypasta here!
6 – The Expressionless
A blood-stained woman walks into an A&E. No one can look at her for more than a few seconds, her very appearance induces nausea, she looks like a mannequin moving around like a human being, her teeth are long needles, and her face, despite the trauma she appears to have been through remains utterly expressionless.
This is a short and simple tale, not one with far reaching consequences. However, in a that short space of time it induces a gripping terror of something inhuman walking the world like one of us, something that could well be amongst us even now, and more horrifically kills swiftly, and seemingly without purpose. It’s the natural made unnatural, which is the very essence of horror, condensed.
Don’t forget to read the original Creepypasta!
5 – BEN Drowned
The modern day haunting story is the dead-man’s cartridge. The story always starts the same, some avid nostalgic goes to a car-boot sale or garage clear out and finds an old gaming cartridge in the bottom of a box, a classic game picked up at a steal of a price, but it’s never exactly what you expect…
BEN DROWNED is a copy of Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask that still has a saved file called BEN. It starts out normally enough except that the NPCs often refer to the character as BEN, deleting the save file causes the names to be removed altogether, which is the beginning of a particularly dark decline.
BEN DROWNED used a series of eerie catchphrases from Majora’s Mask such as: “You shouldn’t have done that.” and “You’ve met with an unfortunate fate, haven’t you?” all accompanied by the face of the smiling trader, often embedded into Link’s head, just to add to the unnatural feel.
Read the original BEN Drowned Creepypasta.
4 – The Rake
This is similar in vein to The Slender Man, a Creepypasta that sparked the imaginations of people everywhere. With people saying “I’ve seen it, it’s real!” and “2spooky4me!” Okay, the latter might have just been mocking The Rake, but make no bones about this: It’s an incredibly effective Creepypasta that seems relatively plausible (a rarity) and has since become video games. It’s not higher on our list because it doesn’t have the same staying power as The Slender Man (Whom we’ll get onto shortly), but it’s a really well received story.
This acts more like a narrative for the unknown, The Rake is a story which focuses on uncovering the secrets of this strange human-like creature. It tries to walk like a human, but generally finds that it can’t. It tries to act like a human, but generally isn’t. It doesn’t talk like a normal human – but people are certain that it’s real. The story takes accounts from various sources dating between 1964 to 2006.
I’d recommend giving this one a try, by reading the original Creepypasta.
3 – The Slender Man
The Internet’s greatest bogeyman is a legend that has expanded beyond the digital bounds. An abundance of horror projects – like MarbleHornets and Slender: The Eight Pages – amidst a plethora of fan-fictions and artwork have built a tale that no longer deserves the name “urban legend” and is simply an endemic part of modern society.
Although it’s not alone, Slenderman, or Slender Man, has had the most famous impact in real life, the recent crimes supposedly undertaken in His name. It’s never a pleasant thing to consider, that stories can inspire real tragedies, nonetheless the level of influence of this crowd-sourced phantasm has had must at least broker a little respect.
Simply put, we created a monster. And now you should read the original Creepypasta.
2 – Tulpa
Before we get into this one, let me tell you that this is one of the all time best written Creepypastas out there. A good Creepypasta really should let you feel as if it’s something that could happen for real. For one, let me confirm that Tulpa’s are an actual phenomenon. It’s quite a terrifying concept as well. No, this doesn’t have anything to do with the video game by the same name, to my knowledge.
A guy undergoes a scientific experiment whereby he is to sit in a room for a long time, where he’s supposed to imagine another person into the room – His Tulpa. It started off innocently enough. The guy had to imagine his Tulpa was there and he would have to make it interact with objects and the likes. All the while, scientists were reading scans from his brain. They then put him in a room with disturbing, discordant music. Of course, things get more erratic from here on in. His Tulpa started to get him to do bad things, such as beating one of his friends. The Tulpa started to literally control him, much like he controlled the Tulpa.
Needless to say it gets more disturbing than that and I’d highly recommend you give this one a read as soon as possible.
1 – Russian Sleep Experiment
There are plenty of weird and creepy stories about war-time experiments, in fact the Russians and Nazis are accredited with a vast array of inhuman – and mostly fictitious – scientific procedures and tests that are a fantastic source of grim horror stories. The Russian sleep experiments are brilliantly freakish, the tale of a group of test subjects that are contained within a chamber flooded with a powerful gas stimulant.
The end result is that the chamber has to be opened and the experiment halted two weeks in, the remains of the tale tell of the mutilated lunatics that emerged, screaming, laughing, demanding more of the gas, presenting inhuman medical readings. Gore-horror translates better in the written form I think, and though the whole thing lasts around thirteen minutes to listen to, it conjures unsettling images, and ends with a rather dark concept.
In 2004, Something awful foresaw the coming of Zalgo, bringer of the end, something truly terrible. Zalgo is the infestation that spreads amongst us, the finality. Its’ dark malfeasance has roots that have spread back through a century to weave itself into the midst of H.P. Lovecraft’s darkest imaginations, despite the fact that it never originated there in the first place.
Can you hear it? That scratching behind the walls? Not the walls of the room, no… the walls of perception, the boundaries built of light, and colour and sound, as brittle as paper that we laughingly call the world. It could reach through it all and touch you, and leave you forever changed. Scream for us! Add your screams to the choir! Scream for Zalgo!
Š͊ͨ̓̑̆̈̈̊͏̺̥̮̦͓̬̬̥ç̞͙̤̫̩̖̰̫̉͂͘r̻͚̞͛̄ͬ͑ͤ̔ͨe̴̡̠͈͉̹͖͖̺ͪ̍ͧͫa͉͚̲̰ͥ̀͋̎̓̀͢͞m̠̲̒́́̋͗͜ ̧̛̰̳̬̦̹̙̆͋́ͅf̦̤̙̯̋̔õ̷̧̳̰̭͙̱̣̹͇ͥ̃̚r̶̝̻̩̱͓͓̹̜ͧ̀ͩͧ̍̋ͮ̆ ̶̖ͨu͇͈̬͈̜̠̫̍ͧͬ̃̽̍̚̕͟͠ş͍̝͚͓̮̻͙̪͖̒ͩͫ̄!͚̖̳̋ͭ̈́ͩ͞ ̗̩̇͐̇̇A̻̝̻̦̳̠͉͉̍̑͊̐̍̿ͅd̨̝͙̙̖̤͙̾̓̈́ͧ̈̏ͭ̌́͘d͎̦̠̿̉̒̕̕ ̜͇̤͈̺̳̫ͪ̓͛ͯ͛̂̎ͥy̔̅ͯ̊̓́̒́͝҉̟̝o̬̟͖̫̘ͭ̂̾̋̔͆̀ͥ́͟ư̹̻͎̗̪̻͌̿̃̐ͦ̒̃̚͢͠r̟̤͇̦̟̖̺̂̅̀̃̀̾ͪ͜ ̷̧͎͔̰͓̘̑̆ͮ͂ṡ͓̳̜̼̱ͧ̓̍ͣͥͭc̣̩̬̮̦͔͓̥̄̃ͥ͟͝͞r̨̲̱̳̎̂̈ͨe̖̰͕͚͚̅̂ͩ͑̉̂̽̽a̻͎ͫ̿ͫ̿̆͜ͅm͇̜̺̤ͮ̅͐̒š̛̞̥̾̏͂͑̍̅ͥ̉ ̄̋͋͒̓́͏̭̰̬̳̱̻ͅt̘̟̫̥̞̘͉͎͛̒ͬ̔ͨ̒̊͐̄̀͡o̼̬ͨ̂ͭͮ̑͐͋̒̃ ̴̟̳̼̺̱̫̓ͫͦ͗̚t̝̣͇̤̪͕̓͂ͤͫ̎ͣͤͦ͗͝͠h̝͔͚̫͇̏͛́̕͢ẽ̶̗̙̖̳͔̥̫̰̝̉͋ͥ͐ͩ̀̚͡ ́ͭ҉̶̩̮̗̣̼͎͍͜ͅċ̠ͨ̌͝h̠̪̣̝̘̯̹̠͂̎̈́ͦͫͤ̿ͥ́o̢͈ͫ̊͢ḭ̸͉̫͌͋͑ͭ̍ṙ̰͙̙̲́!̻̬̘̝̠̖̯͍̔̈͒̉ͫͥ ̶̧̰̣̤̆͒̏̓́S̅̃͒ͮ͐̑̊̏͏̴̖̜̦̰̳ĉ̢̛̩̰̥̜̊ͥ̔ͩrͪ̍̽̎̈́̇͆͏̩̤͍͓̦͙͙͕̫e̸̳̹̪͐̀à̵̖̟̜̦͖̱̭͔̈̃̿̓̀̾m̴̧̛̲̗ͭͧ̀̉͋̋̾ͤ ̶̗̫̘͒͑̈́ͪ͋f̵̻͖͎̣̝͔͕̼̟̔͊̽̏͠o̦͙͓̺͉̒ͭ͂́̇͘ͅr̛̯̳̗̬̱͊ͬͤ̕͝ ̻̜̮̦̺͓͒ͣ̾̃ͦ̀ͯ̔ͅZ̶̺͙͇͈͂̅̉̎͡a̢̹͇͒ͤ̿̀̄̋̔̈l̄ͧ͗ͨͫͯ҉̠̰g̈̿̀҉͎͔̻͕̱̗o̯̳͖̱̩̎̔̃̀ͪ̎̊͡!͉̘̱̭̺̀
More information on Zalgo can be found on Creepypasta Wikia.
A Skeleton Popped Out!
This one is what’s known as a Trollpasta, which is when someone pretends to make a Creepypasta which then has something so anticlimactic or so anti-creepy, that it’s just humorous. They’re usually really poorly written and have little to no deep meaning behind them. Granted, not many Creepypastas do have deep meaning, but at least they try to at least be well written, or just an entertaining read.
A Skeleton Popped Out is literally the most anticlimactic way to end a Creepypasta and it’s been featured in many of these Trollpastas. Generally, you’ll have a story such as this:
SO UR WALKIN DOWN THE STREET WHEN A CAR PULLS UP 2 U ND UR LIKE “THA IS WEIRD!”
YOU GO UP TO TEH CAR AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!
Dang, I nearly gave myself a heart attack… I hope you liked my prose, however. But don’t waste your time with my drivel, read the original trollpasta!
Weird, somewhat gross and macabre, Creepypastas are so much fun to read! But alas, this is just our list. I want to know what your favourite Creepypastas are and if we have the best of them covered off here? Do you like our list? Do you agree or disagree with our ordering? Why not let us know in the comments below, but beware, reader: We’re behind you, watching what you type. Not really.
Oh yeah, don’t forget to hit that Top 10 vote for next weeks topic! Votes close on Thursday 25th June 2015! It gives us time to prepare and write our list for next Saturday then, see? Me and Joel like to sit beside a camp fire and retell tales of what we believe belongs in the Top 10 lists… and what deserves the chop! Sweet dreams, reader…
… Until next time…
… We’ll be waiting…