I can’t believe by the hair of my chinny chin, chin that you’d actually bleating vote for this one. I don’t know if you, our readers, are just a little bit gruff, or if you think we might have bitten off more than we can chew, but I can assure you now that you’ve only motivated us to tackle this problem head on. A Top 10 wouldn’t be complete without absurd choices, so this week, you’ve given us a bit of a conundrum.
We understand the (ram)ifications, of if we don’t get this right. For one, a ram cannot count as that’s actually a sheep. We can’t include things such as Fauns for instance, for they’re not goats, even if people sometimes confuse them. So if you’re feeling a little bit woolly as to what this week’s vote is, it’s our Top 10 Goats. So it’s time to milk these puns for all they’re worth, because they’re so cheesy. Ah enough of this, let’s charge on!
10) Escape Goat
Escape Goat is a really sweet little puzzler where you get to go around as a goat, saving other goats from danger. It’s a simple little tale of a goat going on his goatly missions to go and save others from a massive tower. It’s nothing that’ll blow your mind in terms of story, neither is the gameplay all that impressive, but it is a nice little game.
It makes it into our Top 10 list just by the hairs of it’s chinny chin, chin (how many more times can we use that pun?). Escape Goat is one of those adorable things that happens from time to time: You see something that you can’t help but like, but when you finally get it, it’s nothing special. That’s not to say it’s not a decent game (which it thoroughly is), but don’t expect this game to be the one that gets your goat! Fun little puzzle game, worth checking it out.
9) Missy – How I Met Your Mother
Here’s a daft little joke that was a full year in the making.
Grown up Ted tells the story of his 30th birthday, during which Lily introduces her kindergarten class to a goat, and resolves to rescue it when the farmer tells the children in no uncertain detail what will happen to said goat, hiding it in Ted’s place until she can find somewhere more appropriate. Ted’s battle of wills with the goat is epic, but pales in comparison to the fight… oh but wait, that doesn’t actually happen ‘til next year!
It’s a reminder that we’re listening to an anecdote that’s being told wrong, reveals a few details about the season that would follow, and raises some very interesting questions in the process. How does everyone know that they’re goat droppings? And what did Missy see in that washcloth? The story of Missy the goat is testament to the planning behind the show, and how clever it could get about being stupid.
And seriously, How I Met Your Mother is an oddly nerdy gem.
8) Satan – The Binding of Isaac
Technically Satan isn’t really a goat, but he’s basically a goat as that’s the typical representation of Satan! Goat-like and with large wings in appearance, but also partially that of a man, Satan is a dangerous opponent in The Binding of Isaac. Able to take on the form of a massive demonic goat, Satan is there to try to squash you and claw at you. If you take the path to fight Satan, you generally get the “bad” endings, though in theory there’s no good ending in this game.
Satan’s power doesn’t just stop at being a big goat man who wants to squash you. He’s able to summon minions to do his bidding, as well as being a constant threat throughout the game. There are secret rooms dedicated to his likeness and there’s even an end-game secret fight with him where he’s called Mega Satan – and that’s not an easy fight for most people to handle!
Hey, unlike his Pokemon equivalent later in this Top 10, at least this goat can Mega Evolve!
7) Khazra – Diablo
The Khazra are one of the most dangerous recurring enemies in the Diablo franchise. These huge demonic men are half man half goat, but not quite a Satyr. Instead, with their impressive size advantage over most of their enemies, the Khazra are a bunch of demons who are hellbent on swinging huge polearms and axes to take out the opponents of the Lord of Terror himself. Usually travelling in herds, you can be sure for a tough fight.
You will fight wave upon wave of these gits, who seemingly come out of nowhere. There are various clans of them, so you know just how hard the group you’re battling through will be. The clans names range from Blood, Death, Fire, Flesh and even Hell! What could be better than a hellish group of goatmen?!
6) #673: Gogoat – Pokemon
Don’t worry, that’s not really the theme song of Gogoat and no, that isn’t a typo. It’s name really is Gogoat and it really is a goat that just goes. Evolving from the adorable Skiddo, Gogoat is a rather big goat that likes to transport humans on its back. Especially made prominent in Pokemon X and Y where you are able to ride Gogoats around the place in specific parts of the game. It’s rather fun too!
It’s nice having a grass type that I genuinely cared about. It’s not that I don’t like grass types, but often I felt a little bit… Underwhelmed by them. Victreebell is cool… I mean so is Oddish, y’know..? But ultimately, the grass types needed something that makes you squeal out. Sorry Chikorita, you’re nothing but a light snack for Gogoat, the toughest goat Pokemon of all. Heck, it’s not like any other Pokemon have specific companies that require them… What’s that? A building company full of Machops, Machokes and Machamps? Hah, don’t be so absurd!
5) The Scene With The Goat – Jurassic Park
T-Rex doesn’t want to be fed. He wants to hunt! Can’t just suppress 65 million years of gut instinct.
We don’t see the tyrannosaurus until it’s too late, and neither does the goat. The sight of that dangling chain is something quite haunting in the terrified silence of the tour-jeep along with the legendary rippling water. It wasn’t too long ago that goat was merrily munching some grass, and blissfully unaware that it was being offered up as gruesome sacrifice to a lizard-god resurrected from millennia of death. Our last glimpse of the morsel is when a leftover hits the roof of the jeep, because with tiny little arms, T-Rex doesn’t have much by way of table manners.
I suppose some kudos must go to Jurrasic World for reenacting the scene, and while I haven’t seen it personally I kind of doubt it’ll carry the same weight of tension and the shocking reveal of the first film. And I also doubt any film we beat the toilet scene that followed.
4) The Goat of Lochmarne – Broken Sword
This one’s as stubborn as a… well you know.
Amongst the list of ridiculous puzzles that have the kind of solution that only leaves you more confused is the infamous goat of Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars. The ferocious beast is warden to an ancient dig-site in Lochmarne, Ireland, and headbutts you if you dare step too close to the trapdoor. The castle had been rumoured to be guarded by a malicious ghost, but the truth is far more terrifying.
Spoilers: the solution was to drag a piece of farm equipment into the goats path, but only immediately after it had rammed you, before it can walk back to its post, moving it before or after would accomplish nothing. Still at least it would come to spawn one of the series major running jokes, including the talking goat of Quaramonte.
3) Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr – Thor’s Chariot
Everyone knows about the hammer, but did you also know that Thor has a chariot drawn by a pair of divinely imbued goats? At their charge it was said that the ground quaked and burned, and Thor regularly channeled Mjolnir’s power to resurrect them after he’d eaten them, until one incident when he shared them with a peasant family, and one of them split a leg bone to eat the marrow, and the goat was raised to life with the leg crippled.
Fun fact, Thor then accepted the peasant’s children as an apology and left Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr behind. They’re also the origin of the Yule goat, old depictions of Father Christmas show him riding on a goat, and the reindeer-led sleigh can trace its origins back to Thor’s goats. It’s one of the lesser known facets of Thor that has only occasionally popped up in his pop-culture interpretations. Marvel’s Ragnarok is coming soon though… super-goats maybe?
2) Kojirou – Nichijou: My Ordinary Life
Let’s get something straight here: Goats are destructive little beasts who know nothing but chaos, anger and carnage. They come charging at you whilst making ungodly noises which makes you think “good grief, that’s a goat!” So when I found Nichijou, a slice of life comedy anime, I screamed at the top of my lungs when I saw this goat… It was nothing like I described above. It was actually a rather tame little goat… Oh!
Okay, so I’m being a little bit melodramatic, but how can you hold that against me? This goat is adorable to the nth degree. From the simple and very goat-y design right down to its temperament, this goat is lovely. It takes its owner for a ride and seems to enjoy eating yaoi artwork… Just be aware, Mia doesn’t like it when goats eat her art.
1) The Goat – Goat Simulator
There really should have been no doubt on this one. The most bizarre parody of the oddly specific simulator genre puts players in control of a goat cast into a world of normality and boredom, with two very simple purposes: break everything, and lick things to claim them as your own, and in many ways that makes this the most accurate sim of all.
Your mission to do goat stuff unlocks new goatly powers, devil goat, angel goat, long goat, goat bird, technogoat, and dubstep (no really). Hitch a ride through the sky by lashing your tongue to a passing helicopter, play dead to go hurtling down a water flume, or trip on shrooms to blow your head up to ridiculous sizes and bob around like a mad thing. Play the poorly-built MMO, escape to the server and break the world! It’s the pinnacle of goatlihood!
And it’s kinda dumb.
Ah, you didn’t think we could end our homage to goats there now, did you? Nevertheless, these gruff creatures are now going to make you bleat out in joy, as these are two more mentions of goats that you absolutely must know about.
Gordon the GeekOut Goat
If you have seen our Posters here on GeekOut, you would be aware that we seem to have a weird shape that we often use. The shape seems to have two large horns of sorts, as well as some weirdly hairy chin. What on Earth could this shape be and what significance does it have to GeekOut? Well ladies and gentlemen, I’m about to blow your minds a little bit: That’s our mascot – Gordon the GeekOut Goat.
When Joel and Timlah were up chatting one night, they decided they needed a mascot to put on merchandise. Timlah got designing and he was working for hours on end to try and make a little mascot… But it never quite took off. Cartoony, cutesy, it didn’t matter – It never quite worked. Until Timlah looked at that goat shape once more. Thus, Gordon was born. GeekOut has settled on the mighty Goat as its symbol, because they truly are the Greatest Of All Time.
Goat legs, goat horns, kinda goaty face, but they’re not all the way there, not even goatfolk completely, and also known as fauns in Roman myth (although they are more commonly dear-like), and ancient British folklore has Puck and glaistigs.
Add to the list of animal hybrids from mythology alongside centaurs, harpies and the like. Originally companions of the gods Dionysus and Pan, led by the semi-divine Silenus, satyrs are creatures of revelry – literal party animals, delighting in music, alcohol and faun-ication (get it?). Sometimes they were guides to lonely travellers, They appear a lot in media in various forms, villains, allies, or assorted troublemakers, only very rarely are they anything to be taken seriously.
You can’t stop this kid, we’ve “baa”ed our way through this list. So if you’re feeling like we’ve been sufficiently challenged, then let us know how we did. Of course we leave these votes to you as we can’t always decide between the two of us what Top 10 should take place. You wanted it, you’ve got it: Hit that vote button below for what our list should be next week!
Did you think this week’s list was “Baa”d, or good? What do you think of our Top 10 picks for Goats and let us know if you know of any better goats that deserve at least an honourable mention. How did you like our description of our mascot Gordon the GeekOut Goat? As always, thanks so much for voting – Please remember to comment below, or over on Facebook, Twitter or Reddit.
The first official DLC for The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth, this is the Afterbirth of Isaac. With updated visuals to already existing floors, new bosses and enemies as well as a whole new character and items galore, Afterbirth is an inexpensive way to breathe more life into an already exciting roguelike. But is this expansion to the game any good? Timlah has been playing it recently and weighs in.
Yuck! Some enemies in video games are just downright disgusting. Sticky, smelly, slimy, grotesque… You name it: They’re at least one of these! But never fear, we thought we’d delve into the realm of the ugly and the vile, the gross and the gruesome.
Just to make the rules of this list as clear as possible: The enemies in question must be disgusting. This can range from being visually disgusting, metaphorically disgusting or even disgusting in flavour (no, we’re not on about their actual taste but what stories they may have behind them). This weeks Top 10 was chosen by you, so join in with choosing our next list at the end of the article!
Grotesque, gruesome and all together gruelling, that’s The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth in a nutshell. We’re going to take a look through all of the excrement and disgusting bugs to get through to see if this is a well polished game, or just a well polished turd. We’re going to look through all of the dirt and the grit, all of the blood and the representations of good and evil and we’re about to be reborn. I’ve been playing this game a while, but held off as there have been some fantastic reviews and articles on the game, such as this one from AddAltMode. Go check them out and give them your support, as they’re a great bunch.
Isaac lives with his mother, who is a devout believer of a faith (Presumably Christianity, due to the symbolism of crosses and the representation of biblical characters, such as Eve and Samson). They live a happy live together, when one day his mother starts hearing the voice of her lord speak to her. The voice tells her that Isaac is sinful and that he must be stripped of all of the evils in the world. Being devout, the mother obliges to the holy voice she’s hearing and proceeds to remove all of Isaac’s belongings, from his toys all the way down to his clothes!
The voice is pleased, but more needs to be done. He speaks to Isaac’s mother once more and tells her that he must be punished for the evils and must repent. To punish Isaac, she locks him in his empty room… But then once more, the voice speaks to the mother and tells her for one last task. The god needs to be appeased, so he demands of her a sacrifice of her only born son. The devout lady she is, corrupted by this voice she was hearing, tells the voice she will do as he asked of her. She takes to Isaac’s bedroom with a kitchen knife, but before she can do anything, Isaac finds a hatch to the basement in his floorboards. He jumps down and so we begin Isaac’s journey to find himself.
If the story didn’t set the mood for you, this is not a happy game. This is an incredibly dark game with a lot of themes that some players may find offensive in general. From the random poop monsters, who seem to have the voices of babies, to actual dead babies, this game has a lot of really disturbing content and it is probably one of the most shocking Indie games I’ve played. This is coming from the same man who made Super Meat Boy, however, so how does the game actually play?
First of all, this is quite a unique mechanic in this game. You fight with your tears, to combat foes of varying degrees of disgustingness. To use your tears, you fire off in one of four directions. If you play using a controller like I did, then you can use either the buttons to determine which direction you attack, or you can use the second analogue stick. Your tears go a certain distance, which you can upgrade throughout the game.
Upgrades are handled via items in the game, which are the core mechanic. Each item you pick up affects how you play the game, from The Halo which increases all of your stats, to Dark Bum who is a companion that collects red hearts (health) for itself in return for a chance to drop an item. Your play style changes dramatically when you swap from tears to another kind of attack, such as a laser or a charged attack.
You play through levels, of which get progressively harder. Each level is procedurally generated, which makes this game highly replayable. Also, each run takes between 20-50 minutes each time, so long as you survive for a good amount of it. This means that you generally end up doing several runs in one playthrough. With multiple endings and many different characters to play as, you will end up coming back time and time again. One small issue I had is with the addition of Azazel. I love the character and usually play as him, because he makes playing the game so much easier… And that’s a bit of a problem. Still, it’s tricky enough with him, but when you’re doing the boss rushes in a matter of minutes… You know something is a bit overpowered. Or perhaps I’m just that good?
Graphically, this game knows how to deliver on the grossness of the world you’re in. This isn’t a 3D world, where you have to take in the mud and the disappointing weather about you. Instead, the atmosphere delivered in this game is entirely in the dark, dank, dingy caverns and catacombs that you’ll be crawling your way through. With the blood splatters around the place, the actual sentient excrement and the foetuses all around the place… yeah, you’re immediately absorbed by the plethora of dark and hideous coming at you. Spitting blood at your face whilst you cry your painful tears at your enemies.
I’m not going to lie: This isn’t the most beautiful game out there. It looks good and is a very clean style, which is seriously improved from The Binding of Isaac, the original Flash game. As well as this, the music in the game is really good but I do question why the Cellar levels have such an unfittingly “epic” feel to its music. Regardless, the music in Binding of Isaac is really high quality audio that would be great on an MP3 list, let alone in the game itself.
I love Binding of Isaac Rebirth – and I’m going to keep playing it for a long time ahead of me. Unfortunately, the addition of that one specific character is a bit of a let down in terms of the difficulty of the game – But it’s okay. It’s not like you have to play as him, unless you’re going to try for all of the achievements in the game. Like I probably will do, as I would love to get the Platinum God status in that game.
It’s great fun, it’s an addictive game and ultimately, who doesn’t want to play a game as a crying child… Oh, now that I’ve said that, it’s not so appealing. I’d recommend you do pick it up and give it a go though, so let me know in the comments: Did you enjoy The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth? Would you replay it at any point, or play it thanks to reading this article? As always, please let us know what you thought and we’ll see you around next time!
For once we decided we’d actually talk about the games themselves, not an element within gaming. So this time around, we thought we’d do the Top 10 indie horror games.
Be it a horrific story courtesy of a story from Creepypasta, or a unique experience delivered to the world by a small team, the indie horror scene has become one of the most innovative areas on the market.
Sadly though it is filled with imitators to the originals, clones if you will. Today though, we revel not in the clones but in our Top 10 indie horror games. Oh we also have some would be contenders as well, but the top 10 are 2spooky4me.
Now I’m spooked… But this is horror, my friends. We move on – To be horrified.
10. 5 Days a Stranger
Created by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, 5 Nights a Stranger is a point and click horror adventure game where you uncover what is happening in the house that you are all stuck inside.
You play as Trilby, a cat burglar who wears… A trilby. He’s a pretty damn good cat burglar and he doesn’t actually mean ill-will on anyone, he’s pretty much a perfect gentleman in all honesty. He investigates the strange happenings of the house, the guests he’s staying with and how to escape the house. Undead, machetes, manacles – this game is thrilling yet simple. A nice combination to play through. Quite soft on the horror but it’s intriguing and worth a look.
9. The Binding of Isaac
Roguelikes are not exactly known for their tension-building atmosphere and gut-wrenching terrors, but what the Binding of Isaac brings to the table is an altogether different type of horror. Driven into the basement of his house by his delusional mother, Isaac discovers quickly that he was not the first to have been cast into the darkness in obeisance to the divine voices in her head.
Demons, spectres, and too many of Isaac’s undead brothers and sisters to count have been lurking beneath his feet, and the only weapons at his disposal are his anguished tears. Headup Games helped see this independent game see the light of day, but a bigger better remake is on the horizon.
A psychological horror mystery of sorts, where you walk through a house, some dark and dank places, the outside and more. But why are you doing this? You’re walking so you can find out what happened last night, as you just can’t remember.
Then you finally arrive Home. The realisation of everything dawns over you and you’re clear in your head what you need to do. But what do you do? This game changes depending on what you click on and see. Your character comes to different conclusions with different possible ways of ending the game. It’s short and sweet – just how I like my horror games!
7. Don’t Starve
A horror survival game, where the goal is literally to not starve. Taking a dark theme, within a dark randomly generated world, the goal is basically to survive as long as you can, or find the story when you’re in the game and play through the story that way.
From spiders and Beefalos, to pigmen who are pretty damn useless and men with names like Wilson and Maxwell, this is the game that we hoped Tim Burton would produce. Instead he didn’t produce this game, but we got it anyway!
6. SCP Containment Breach
All you need to know about SCP Containment Breach can be found in the SCP Containment Breach wiki. Seriously, this is a free indie horror survival game… That has a damned wiki.
You play as a test subject who’s there during… Well a containment breach! There are many SCPs around the facilities, some are friendly and some are hostile. The goal is to be able to guide your test subject through the facilities and basically not to be killed by SCP-173. This game has a concept similar to Doctor Who’s Weeping Angels – SCP-173 is deterred by being looked directly at. Throughout the game, your character blinks. Whenever line of sight is broken, the SCP can move towards you. Good luck, as this game punishes you for irresponsible blinking!
5. Penumbra Trilogy
If you expected to see Amnesia in this line-up you are going to be disappointed. Frictional Games first series was just as terrifying as its’ most famous work. You investigate an abandoned facility in Greenland, that naturally turns out to be less than unoccupied. Hungry dogs guard the doors, and they are lethal in their own right, slabs of meat and scavenged pickaxes are little help, and the dogs are only the beginning.
If Amnesia got you by the innards and twisted, Penumbra is absolutely worth your time. You may not be quite so helpless, but you’ll still spend more of the game running and hiding than trying to fight.
4. Killing Floor
Co-Operative Survival Horror game. Yeah Killing Floor is a bit of a silly name, but ignoring the fact that the name implies the floor is on a murderous rampage, this is the ultimate zombie killing experience for all you indie gamers out there. Available on Windows, Mac and Linux – as well as even having a game on the Ouya, Tripwire Interactive were on a winner when they approached the developer of the original Killing Floor mod.
Zombies, blood, gore and guns galore, this game is fun with a capital F. Get your friends together, be prepared to jump occasionally as zeds approach you from all directions and remember to weld the bloody door.
3. Slender: the Eight Pages
Once this game was made and released, that was it. All hell broke loose as just about everyone went ahead and made a Slender clone, much in the same way that everyone made a Flappy Bird clone. There’s no harm in clones, as imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?
Still Slender: the Eight Pages started it all off. You run around a forest trying to collect… Well… Eight pages. All the while, you’re being chased down by this being with no face. If he catches you, don’t expect him to give you any hugs – He will kill you… But not before giving you a screen of static and his face. Well, at least you get to see the handsome fellow before you die, I guess.
Lost and alone in a dark forest, a small boy awakens. The world he inhabits is filled with vast, silently shifting spiders, mind altering parasites, and sadistic little killers. The game is entirely monochrome, there is no music, very little sound at all, drawing you in deeper to a world that will kill you on a whim. Limbo contains very few jump-scares, but it’s style is chilling, designed to tap into your every childish fear and scrape your nerves raw.
Limbo is the first, and currently only title by Playdead, and was greeted with wide acclaim and several rewards. Their next title, Inside, looks like it’s going to be self-published as well, and looking at the early trailer you should be afraid already….
1. Five Nights at Freddy’s
It’s just a simple security gig, sit in a cushy office in a pizza place with “cute” animatronic bears and ducks and whatnot, keep an eye on the security cameras. Oh, and by the way, those adorable mascots were implanted with some weird AI, and if they catch you at night as they wander around they will assume you’re a mascot out of costume, and try and stuff you into one of the vacated empty bodies.
Scott Cawthon brings us a horrifying game. There is no escape, you can only hope to spread your limited power around to keep yourself protected from the nightmarish teddies that stalk the night, mocking smiles leering at you through the monitor, and through the door.
The next two titles are worthy contenders to be in our Top 10 indie horror games list, but we had to think realistically. For the time we spent playing, to the innovation and the likes these two just missed our list.
However, we thought we’d still go ahead and mention them as we felt they are good candidates and heck, perhaps one or two you won’t know of!
Escape from Lavender Town
Most people steer clear from this game as it’s a freeware game that you can get from websites like GameJolt. It comes as just a standalone .exe file which of course could potentially have been malicious – but when I heard of the game I decided the risk was worth it. Plus, others had played it before and didn’t yet die.
The premise of Escape from Lavender Town is simply to wander around Lavender Town and listen to the various residents of Lavender Town. They explain the weird circumstances and you can listen to the oddly chilling Lavender Town music with the infamous hidden frequencies re-adjusted for the game. Once you finish reading, press escape and it’s all over… Honestly. Go ahead and give it a try today. I promise you, it’s not that bad.
Fair is fair, this isometric hack-and-slash is not a horror game, but Grim Dawn – created by the remains of Iron Law’s Titan Quest team – has a very strong horror theme. An apocalyptic punk-styled world overrun by the undead, demonspawn and worshippers of Elder Things, your hero is possessed and released by an otherworldly horror that leaves you with the power to use their portals against them.
It’s not scary, but it’s a brilliantly dark game with some fantastic Diablo-style gameplay. It’s in ongoing development after a very successful Kickstarter campaign, but you can buy it now and get access to the ever expanding content.
I hope you all get some sleep tonight, as these horror games will leave you either on the edge of your seat or sleeping with one eye open.
But not to fear, we’re going to tone down the scares a bit now…
Oh no, it’s the day of all the blood!
Join us again next time for another Top 10 – and as always, join in the conversation! What are your favourite indie horror games? Did we cover it? Do you agree with our above list and hey – go play some of the free ones. You know you want to!