As many of you know, I’m sure, that Elder Scrolls Online announced a new expansion for the MMO. If you’re a long-time fan of The Elder Scrolls, then this might be the right time to come and join the online title. For the first time ever, we’re about to see the homeland of the Khajiit, Elsweyr – And I couldn’t be any more excited. Then, they decided to tell us a bit about the story behind Elsweyr… And they mentioned we’ll be fighting something big. Next, they released the prologue in game, which you can play right now and hoo boy, was it ever a treat? Check this out…
WARNING: If you’ve not watched the trailer yet for Elsweyr yet, then the image in today’s article may be considered spoilers. There’s nothing more than light spoilers, so thought I’d give you that warning. Cool. Read on!
E3 is a massive specticle; a grand stage for all of the biggest of publishers and developers, showing off their hard work. Big conferences aren’t necessarily my thing, but all gamers are acutely attuned to E3. Love it or hate it, whether you think it does good or bad for the industry, it’s always a massive time of the year for gamers. It sets the pace for the rest of the year and first two quarters of the next – And this year, I think Bethesda said the most.
A kleptomaniac is someone who can’t help themselves, but to steal. Nevermind stealing your heart, these individuals will just take what they see. Really, it doesn’t matter to them – they know they need it, no matter what it is. They just have to have it. Well then, we’re going to have to tread carefully and lock all of our valuables away. Indeed, we’d better nail this Top 10 down, as this week we’re keeping an eye out for our Top 10 Kleptomaniacs.
Can’t afford the millions of cards required to get competitive at Magic? Don’t have space for a collection, or friends with decks? Well why not play Hearthstone?
I kid, I haven’t played Hearthstone either. I hear it’s free, but I look at a multiplayer game that big and I’m immediately put off, and to be honest I haven’t been enthralled by a Blizzard game in decades, the lore is lost on me and their style doesn’t draw me in like it used to when I was younger.
I had been dipping into Mojang’s card-game analogue Scrolls for quite some time, it had some great mechanics, but like everything that they try and do that isn’t Minecraft, it vanished in obscurity. Gwent sits firmly on my to-do list, but it does so along with the rest of the Witcher trilogy which I keep trying to get back into, alongside a few dozen other computer collectable card games that ought to be tried at some point, one day. (more…)
We’ve all been there; Faced with a boss level that’s so hard, or fallen off the edge of a mountain and your character is stuck to plunge to its death, or remain stuck. I feel your pain, but for the PC gamer, this isn’t always a problem. Sometimes a dire situation calls for a few console commands, allowing us to either turn our characters to God mode, disable the gravity in a game, perhaps noclip makes an appearance? No matter what you choose to do, console commands open the realms of possibility for us!
It’s way too late to do a review of Skyrim, the game is fast approaching its 5th anniversary and there’s a major remaster on the way instead of an Elder Scrolls VI like most of us would rather see. Personally I want to see Elsweyr, never play Khajiit, I read Ahzirr Traajijazeri and I love the sound of the rebellion, maybe include Valenwood so we can see the walking trees that wood-elves make their cities in. Not a huge fan of Elder Scrolls Online because I’m not a fan of MMOs, and it sounds like it wasn’t all that popular from what I hear, I can’t find any population statistics which is quite interesting. (more…)
The Elder Scrolls, one of Bethesda’s biggest franchises. During its tenure, this series has had 5 single player games, an MMO that has seen two expansions and of course all of the single player expansions as well. It’s no fluke either, as The Elder Scrolls games are constantly known for delivering excellence in video games, no matter how buggy some of them can be. But with this in mind, are they actually any good?
Life is full of great and wondrous things. Some things you know are great, worthy of our laughter, our applause and our support. There are some things which are so bad, that we just don’t talk about them. But what about the things which are so bad that they’re actually pretty damn funny? There’s a lot of things like this out there and that’s why we’ve been so vague. Join us as we have a look through our Top 10 Hilariously Bad Things.
We’re not limiting ourselves to anything in particular here. This isn’t an anime, or a video game, or a technology list. This is a list of all that is hilariously bad. I think you’re in for a treat if you’ve not heard of some of these.
Since time memorandum men and women have been living in a constant state of war, conflict and trials.
The burning question which has kept us all awake at night is finally going to be considered here on GeekOut… What are the top 10 food and drinks in gaming!?
Let’s find out, shall we hungry viewers? Pull yourself a smooth beverage and here we go!
10. Curry – Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Who’s up for some hot stuff?
Seriously, this is some ridiculously hot curry. The best thing you can do is go to the settings and put yourself to “Curry” mode in the gameplay settings. Oh yes, watching your fighters run around literally breathing fire along the way – It gets silly, it gets rather hot and bothersome… And it’s downright funny.
Don’t believe me? Go boot up Brawl, set everyone to “light” weight, with bunny ears and curry. Good luck holding your breath to that one!
9. Chupa Chups – Zool
An unapologetic game which was ridiculously tough, Zool: Ninja of the nth Dimension is one of these games that you would have heard of in nightmares if you owned an Amiga. The thing is, however the first three levels have some of the most blatant product placement in existence!
That’s right, we’re on about Chupa Chups being absolutely everywhere in those first three levels. You certainly can’t forget a game like Zool when all you see are delicious sweets everywhere! Great, now I wanna get me some Chupa Chups.
8. Sweet-Rolls – Skyrim
Let me guess…
Skyrim took the immersive level of their classic franchise up a notch when they gave us the opportunity to actually assemble dishes out of the random foodstuffs we used to stuff raw into our virtual faces, giving extra bonuses. There are also the really cool unique foods, like Alto Wine and Elsweyr Fondue that add more depth to the already colossal world. We also can’t help love the attitude towards alchemical ingredients: “I wonder if this is poisonous.”
But we are so sick of being asked if someone stole our sweet roll. Who exactly do the guards think are taking them all? We’re the PC here, our first reaction when finding a new place is to steal its’ entire contents, especially the confectionary. SO STOP ASKING! And we don’t care about your previous careers or knees.
7. Wall Dinners – Castlevania
Ever wondered what eating chicken from a dirty old castle would be like? I’d imagine not tasty. Now try and picture that same chicken dinner being stuffed inside of a wall which crumbles upon whipping.
Now it’s a lovely chicken roast dinner covered in the rubble and ash from a whipped up wall. Delicious!
6. Rare Candy, Moo Milk, Lemonade – Pokemon
I am constantly reminded of the first time I played Pokemon Red. The game was so devoid from the real world, it was beautiful!
Then suddenly you see a vending machine selling Lemonade. This was the first time I questioned: What other similarities are there between Kanto, Johto, Hoenn etc and the real world?
Further to this, in later games there is a ranch that sells milk… From the Cow Pokemon – Miltank! Now I’m picturing that this world keeps Torchics to lay eggs! Yikes!! But don’t worry; all of this “realism” disappears when you realise Pokemon level up to some Rare Candy… Wait, how did you all get so buff looking?
5. Nuka-Cola – Fallout
Now in more varieties than ever before! Nuka Cola was the favourite beverage in the Fallout series, water being basically undrinkable in post-nuclear-apocalypse America. If you’re willing to drink the glowing variety there are some rather cool perks, including a bonus fruit flavour, and glowing urine. Nuka Cola adverts are everywhere in the Fallout universe, all of them looking strangely familiar.
Nuka Cola is iconic, and the brand may very well be as recognizable as the brand it’s designed to parody. It may very well have as many varieties and related merchandize as the original these days too.
4. Grog and root beer – Monkey Island
It’s pretty obvious that grog will feature heavily in a series about pirates. From it eating through several metal tankards before staging a jailbreak across town, to shutting down sushi boat canals in the local Japanese restaurant, this drink not only quenches your thirst (and burns your throat to pieces) but is useful in many a situation. One of the friendly pirates in the Scumm Bar will even give you a recipe if you ask him nicely.
But what could be better than grog? Well, root beer of course! In the first game of the series this fizzy drink is shown to have special powers that rival the extremely rare voodoo anti-root, enabling Guybrush to thwart the evil ghost pirate Le Chuck after grabbing a can from the vending machine at Stan’s Used Ship Emporium. You’ll never look at a carbonated beverage in the same way again.
3. The Cake – Portal
Seven years on we still aren’t certain whether or not the cake is a lie. Was GLaDOS ever going to give us the cake? Was it even real, or just some hallucination brought about by hurling yourself through amplified gravitic space? We know that it drove former test-subjects to write on the walls, and inspired many of us to perceive a far deeper philosophy in Portal.
The game that spawned so many over-used internet jokes and memes at times still feels like the gift that keeps on giving. The sequel also delivered us the Aperture Science Incendiary Lemons! Who knows, if Valve ever work out what comes after 2, we may see another food to add to the list.
2. Super mushrooms – Super Mario Bros.
In real-life you really shouldn’t pick and eat red mushrooms, but that doesn’t stop the famous mustachioed Italian plumber known as Mario – he’s such a risk-taker. Devouring these vivid fungi will cause him to double in size and strength (and his clothes to do the same!), allowing him to smash through bricks and take an extra hit from enemies before returning to his normal short-and-pudgy size.
Also be sure to keep an eye out for the green 1-Up version; you might put our hero’s well-being in danger when attempting to grab one but a successful attempt will earn lucky players an additional life. Mushrooms are obviously so super that they have an entire kingdom named after them in Mario’s world, so we think they deserve to go high on this list. No pun intended… well, maybe.
1. Peperami – Animal
So here’s something that should never have happened, a computer game to advertise a “meat” snack, peperami. Some of you (if you were in Britain at the time) may recall the adverts of the 1990’s, an angry sausage voiced by Adrian Edmondson with a foul attitude. Well, the computer game based on that character was…. actually hilarious! Graphically average for 1996, reasonably tough puzzles at times, but the voice acting and the terrible comedy made the game something truly spectacular.
Ade Edmondson shines through this prolonged, interactive advert, and makes this game not only playable, but an absolute joy. Awful puns, loud abuse, slapstick, and the ability to attack whatever you like. I cannot rate this game highly enough for sheer comedic value.
Sometimes even the best of foods just can’t quite make it to the top of a list. As such, we thought we couldn’t forget about these games where food is the main focus!
Everything – Kirby
Kirby is one hungry little pink ball and he intends to make an example out of anything he eats! Be it a Waddle-Dee or a dog that likes to freeze Kirby, the little pink ball will eat them all. Not only does he eat his enemies/”everything”, he also manages to make it look cute in the process and copy the powers of his enemies! As the phrase goes; you are what you eat!
Alas Kirbys eating habits makes it a bit hard to pin-point a specific food, hence he doesn’t quite make it to the Top 10. Hang in there, little pink ball of Kirby awesomeness!
Everything – Pac-Man
Yep, we’ve copped out a bit by having the exact same thing as the honourable mentions. Pac-Man is another character whose only purpose in life is to eat everything within his sights. Unlike Kirby, Pacman likes to eat Pac-Dots, Power Pellets and ghosts. Yum, all of that ectoplasma-y goodness! Pac-Man also likes to remind its viewers to eat a portion of fruit every day!
At least he’s harmless to us people…… Right?
This week we were blessed to be joined by the lovely Kim of 1001-Up who did the Monkey Island and Super Mario Bros. sections – Thank you, Kim! Everyone else, please go ahead and check out her works over at 1001-Up today!
Well, that’s it for another weeks worth of Top 10 goodness! I hope you’ve not stuffed yourself too silly on our gourmet meals and finest drinks. But don’t worry, Top 10 will be back sooner than you can spell out a French recipe with many “hors d’oeuvre”. Hey, would you like to take part in selecting our next Top 10 (and special mentions)? Why not hit us up by clicking this link and dropping us an e-mail? Whether you’re an avid reader of the site or a new fan; Come take part!