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Top 10 – Keys

GeekOut Top 10s

This week there’s no need to hold the door, as we have the very key to unlock it! We all know that key’s take many different forms, from cards, to the typical metallic key shape that we’re used to. So long as these items adhere to a standard look, or are used to open locks of some description, then they are up for consideration.

Now get ready to unlock your mind, as we take a look inside our Top 10 Keys list.


Top 10

10) Eye Of Pollux – Tales from the Borderlands

The problem with biometric locks is that if you’ve used a fingerprint to lock up something that someone really wants, then they might be willing to cut off that finger in order to get at it. It’s not so simple a thing as handing over the keys to save your own skin. And of course, if you’ve used a retina scan in the hopes of something harder to get hold of and harder to fake… well you have to be willing to live with the possible ramifications. Fortunately for General Pollux, he’s already … gone… when someone comes looking for what he’s got hidden away on his computer.

So you scoop it out with a spork of all things. Not the most delicate of medical instruments which is why it takes two attempts to get it right, fortunately you had two chances. The eyeball is the key to unlocking the computer and learning the terrible truth: Gone doesn’t mean dead, and one day Pollux might wake up to find someone, um… stole his keys.

9) Klefki – Pokemon

When the Fairy type was first introduced, the meta behind Pokémon changed forever. No more was Wigglytuff a useless Pokémon, Clefable got given a second life and even The new Pokémon were worth checking out. But then everyone saw one Pokémon and said “oh great, look how lazy and unimaginative the Pokémon Company are these days. What did they do, just look at their desk for inspiration?”

That Pokémon is Klefki.

Oh sure, blame the Steel/Fairy type and don’t look into the lore of the game as to why it fits. We love Klefki, as this little keychain is a royal pain in the butt. It is capable of taking a few hits, but in return it can knock out Dragon types fairly easily. Just don’t expect it to match up well against a Charizard. I can understand my house keys slaying a Dragon, but a Fire breathing Flying lizard who can Mega-Evolve into a Dragon? Now you’re just being silly!

Excuse me – It’s Dragon hunting season!

8) Puzzle Box – The Mummy

The box that contained the map to the lost city of Hamunaptra served multiple purposes to propel the plot of 1999’s The Mummy, in fact this little octagonal trinket was basically the reason why the apocalypse nearly happened twice, and a huge driving force behind Dwayne Johnson’s acting career. It seals (and opens) the Book of the Dead, the Book of Amun-Ra, and let’s not forget it also sealed away the sarcophagus of Imhotep. This is poor planning on the part of ancient egyptian priests, who should know better than to make the same key integral to opening multiple world ending relics and the boxes that hold them.

It’s also a readily stolen item. It’s raided from a tomb, pickpocketed repeatedly, and ultimately snatched back from Imhotep in order to bring him down. This is why we have keyrings instead of boxes with maps to the things they unlock.

7) Skeleton Key – Elder Scrolls

You know, the more we thought about this entry, the more we realised just how broken the Daedric artifacts were. Sheogorath may have made it to our lists previously just because of how mad he is, but we genuinely cannot ignore other artifacts, such as the Skeleton Key. This is arguably one of the most broken items in the series, allowing the owner to, you guessed it, open (nearly) every bloody door in the damn game. Playing stealthy are you? You damn well better desire this item!

Sure, there are more powerful items, but none are as world-altering as the Skeleton Key. The fact of the matter is that this item makes the game a lot easier for stealthy, thief-y types. Ah well, it could be worse – It’s not like they’re invisible upon entering the building of their victims. But truly, a key that works in just about any lock is a truly terrifying prospect. Sleep with one eye open, folks!

6) Flying Keys – Harry Potter

In Harry Potter’s first dungeon crawl he encountered one of the more devious puzzles one might encounter, a simple chamber with a locked door, and the key is in the room amongst a bunch of other very similar keys, all of which are flying. Now one might ask questions like “why would you make such a tremendous item so accessible that a bunch of plucky eleven year olds can get at it?” but you’ll be asking questions like that while being shredded to pieces by an angry flock of keys.

The flying key scene is a brief moment that reminds us that actually Harry is a gifted kid even without the whole “chosen one” thing to depend on. It’s also a visual spectacle one can’t help but appreciate, one that people who read the books were looking forward to seeing brought to big screen. We were not disappointed, especially as we watched the key flock hammering into the door in pursuit of the intrepid adventurers.

5) Dawn – Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The observant amongst us would have realised that Dawn was foreshadowed from the offset. If you didn’t realise this, then she would have appeared out of the blue to you, which is how a lot of people remember being introduced to Dawn. This young lady seemingly appears from nowhere, with very little to no context. It makes me wonder how many people thought there was some kind of continuity error involved with the introduction of the character.

Regardless, Dawn is often referred to as ‘The Key’. It wasn’t exactly a known fact when she first appeared, as she seemed innocent enough. In fact, the characters didn’t even know she was The Key they were looking for! To give you the long and short of it, she was a being of pure energy, a Key to bring all dimensions together into one. If used, the Key’s energy would be used up, meaning the effects would be a permanent merging of dimensions – and the Hell Goddess, Glorificus, was keen to return to her original dimension.

4) Core Drill – Tengen Toppa Gurren Laggan

The tiny drill that will pierce the heavens! A simple enough trinket worn around the neck of a young digger in a subterranean village forbidden from dreaming of the world above, in the end the drill-shaped talisman turns out to be the symbol of freedom, of victory, and of life in the very universe. It is the ignition key to the Gurren Lagann, in theory a power source but we all know that the true source of power for the ever-growing mech is believing in someone who in turn believes in you, and asking very loudly if people know who you are. Of course it is also vital that when powering up higher that you turn the key further in the ignition.

The Core Drill is a conduit for resolve and strength of will, something that the Gurren Lagann is able to detect and use as a power source, growing in size and capability the more raw emotion is poured into it, but it’s not the only way Simon uses the drill. When all seems lost at the end of the Beast Man Wars, Simon drives the Core Drill into Lordgenome, obliterating his body, and leaving only a semi-living head behind.

3) Boss Key – Legend of Zelda

If you could ask me to explain Legend of Zelda to you, I have a really rather simple summary for the games.

You play as Link, a young boy, who sometimes is a young adult. Link knows he has to save the titular Princess Zelda, so he meets old men in caves and gets a sword. He knows he needs to get some arbitrary items to either craft the Tri-Force, get the Master Sword, or just to get Tingle off his back. To do this, he goes into dungeons, picking up weapons to aid him on his quest, such as the Ganon slaying Bug Net. He sometimes gets maps too, so that’s nice.

But when he enters the dungeons, he must get through the large door/s of the Boss Room. But he can’t get in these rooms without the Boss Key. This imposing and comically oversized key is a representation of the challenge that lies ahead. It’s nothing more than a temporary setback (and a way to make you explore the dungeons more), but the importance of these keys mean you can’t really go any further without them.

Or I guess you can glitch through walls. Pssh.

2) Keycards – Doom

What a bloody basic idea – But effective!

Yes, to extend the amount of time you had on a map, in Doom, you had to find three keycards. Red, Yellow and Blue – You had to find them, open the doors and progress to the next level. In terms of them being a key, they literally the most important items in the game, unless you wanted to just fight the demonic and undead hordes for quite some time. Granted, you’d be forgiven for remembering the BFG better than these keycards.

See, as far as being a key goes, these literally stop you completely in your tracks. You must obtain them to continue – and they’re arguably one of gamings most important keys in that respect. You could go far as to call these… a KEY item! Hahaha, oh man, excuse me. I am far too funny for these lists.

1) Keyblade – Kingdom Hearts

When we first saw this list was picked, we both immediately knew we had to at least mention the iconic Keyblade  from Kingdom Hearts. It symbolises everything about Sora, who is there to open doors via keyholes, as well as to kick butt. His weapon didn’t choose him, like many other stories, but rather he chose to wield the Keyblade to help his friends out.

It’s not exactly a fancy weapon, nor is it a particularly intricate key. Cosplayers love making this weapon, as it does have a certain charm to it. Perhaps the mere idea of defeating Heartless is enough to make you warm up to the key, or perhaps you just really like giant keys, whatever your reason, it’s likely that you’ll love the Keyblade too – Now let it unlock the World’s Keyhole.

And to think: Square Enix wanted Mickey to wield the blade… and Disney? They wanted Donald Duck to wield it.


Honourable Mentions

Have you ever sat back and stared at a key? They’re all made to protect us from something… but yet so many of them either get us in trouble, or lead us to something funny. We like funny things, so here’s two rather amusing entries for our Honourable Mentions!

Jailer’s Keys – Pirates of the Caribbean

When you picture the standard set of keys, you may still be envisioning a heavy ring with a collection of big lever-tumbler lock keys despite the fact that we mostly use the flat pin-tumbler which is a hell of a lot smaller. It’s the classic image of the ancient custodian, or curmudgeonly jailer with his jangling collection of keys, their sequence known only to a special few, and it’s exactly that that we see sat in the mouth of the dog in Port Royal.

The mutt sits diligently in front of the prisoners as the walls of the city come crashing down around him, almost taunting, but not entirely averse to bribery. He barely moves a muscle until Jack waves a friendly bone his way. The Prison Dog also pops up in the other films, a brief stint as a tribal chief on an island of cannibals, and later in Shipwreck Cove holding onto the keys to the codex. He may not be your typical jailer, but he’s definitely got the classic keys for the job.

The Key of Awesome

Let’s go back to the halcyon days of early internet, the formative mid-2000’s in which we saw the celebrities rise from the morass of creation, the days when we still went to Newgrounds every day. In 2007 we saw the rise of a musical organisation who would go on to parody as much pop-music as they humanly could for a decade. See… because “key” can also refer to musical key… it’s a kind of pun! We’re clever.

Once known as Barely Productions because of the variety of content they produced – and still produce – they have taken the name The Key of Awesome as the title to acknowledge their keystone franchise, and though they haven’t totally locked down the YouTube parody market any more, they’re still turning out hits and have really bolted their name into internet history.


Lock up before you leave, as we’re now done! With the padlocks back on and our keychains at our belts, you can be damn sure that we’re going to be more careful with locking the house up in future! But hey, you should act now whilst you have that key, as you can now unlock next week’s list!

Whether you think your key is a mighty Dragon slaying tool or not, you’ve now seen what we consider to be our favourite keys in all of geek fandom. But what did you make of our list? Did we open the door to any interesting choices for you? Did we accidentally lock out a better key? Do you agree with the Keyblade being the best key? As always, share your thoughts below, or over on Facebook and Twitter.

 

7 responses

  1. Awesome to see Dawn on the list. Though, The Mummy’s puzzle box was unexpected but fantastic. Thanks for sharing another great list.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 16, 2017 at 8:34 am

    • Glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, the puzzle box was an odd choice, but we felt it was fitting :) Are there any others you can think of?

      Liked by 1 person

      September 16, 2017 at 10:17 am

      • This is a really kiddy one (and a dated one) but I always loved Fluppy Dogs with the crystal they were using to open magical doors.
        I just googled it and there’s a nice write up with pictures here: http://cartoon-watching.blogspot.com.au/2011/08/fluppy-dogs-part-1.html

        Liked by 1 person

        September 16, 2017 at 7:09 pm

      • Amazing! That’s worth a check, as I’ve never heard of it before :)

        Like

        September 17, 2017 at 12:07 am

      • It was one of my childhood favourites but it probably hasn’t aged well.

        Like

        September 17, 2017 at 6:54 am

  2. Dang, I have misplaced my keys again. Now I won’t be able to get into the house… or slay that pesky dragon.

    Like

    September 16, 2017 at 1:30 pm

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