Top 10 – Bees?
You voted for it, you can’t unvote for it!
Although actually I must say that despite our initial terror, this may well have been our most easily decided list to date. Tim and I working in some bizarre mental concert, as though our very grey matter were some sort of colony, a thriving collaboration a… oh, what’s the term I’m looking for?
If it’s black, yellow, and buzzing like a saturday night on the town then we gave it due consideration, from all walks of nerdom and geekery, we put together our Top 10 Bees… oh but wait! That wasn’t what you picked now was it? Or was it? It’s a little hard to tell. Welcome, then, to our assembled list of… Bees?
10) Bees? – Cards Against Humanity
And here is where the idea for today’s list came from. Fans of Cards Against Humanity are terrible people, but we love you anyway, and if you’ve played it for long enough you have inevitably ended up with this card in your hand, and played it at an equally stupid time. Much like any of the game’s weirder cards there’s moments where it’s right, and moments where it’s wrong, sometimes the right kind of wrong if you’re really lucky.
So Bees? Bees? Bees. Definitely bees…
9) Bee Blader – Megaman
Anyone who’s played the MegaMan X games will be familiar with the Bee Blader, but for those of you who’ve not seen this title (where the hell have you been?!) MegaMan X features the struggles of reploids and humans against mavericks. It’s quite a struggle, where it’s sort of like a bizarre love-triangle… Only one of the sides wants to brutally murder the other, which causes that side to be paranoid of both sides and the third side? It just wants peace… Through destruction. Have I ever mentioned MegaMan gets weird?
Well, lo and BEEhold, there’s a Bee like robot in MegaMan X and it’s known as the Bee Blader. It’s a bee, so how bad could it be? Actually, it’s featured several times as a mini-boss. It spits out walker robots, which aren’t particularly a big threat… But they do have their own machine guns mounted to them. These buzzing machines are enough to give you enough to worry about in the early stages!
8) Insect Swarm Plasmid – Bioshock
Now this is a bit of a weird one, but basically it’s just an attack that sees you sticking your hand out and boom! Out come the swarm of bees to absolutely demolish your opponents! It’s great to watch, but it certainly makes me feel itchy just watching it. All of them buzzing mini-drones going towards my opponents, stinging them, swarming over them and decimating them, by making them feel incredibly uncomfortable.
The thing that makes this quite special is that this is an imbued spell of kinds. You shove a huge needle in your arm, injecting the power of… Bees?… into your arm. Once its taken over, you are able to, at your discretion, blast your opponents with the power of bees! Bees I tell you, bees! Mighty, powerful, swarming, honey producing bees! Okay, they don’t seem to do that last part in this game, but whatever.
7) Wasp – Marvel
Alright so we’re stretching the limits of “bee” here, certainly I know I’d rather encounter Janet van Dyne than the regular stinging, flying, carnivorous bee imposters, although it’s probably safer to be on the bad side of the latter. Janet possesses much of the tech designed by her husband Hank Pym, and so can shrink and grow at will, but she also sports a set of high-powered wings and a set of arm-mounted bio-energy weapons that allow her to deal non-lethal but highly painful damage from a short distance.
Janet has also lead the Avengers for short periods of time, as well as having her own collection of private villains including Lord Gouzar, the centaur ruler of the microverse. She’s a polyglot, fashion designer and tv personality as well as being a super hero, and she has a real talent for bringing people together, even as her own marriage fell apart. While Wasp in the MCU may be a different person altogether, Evangeline Lily is looking like she may very well earn the wing suit she’ll get in her next outing.
6) Buzz Buzz – Earthbound
“A bee I am not, I am Buzz Buzz”
But if he isn’t a bee, then why does he look so suspiciously like a bee? I mean he even makes the little buzzing noise expected of a bee; probably explains why he’s called Buzz Buzz. But alas, if he’s not actually a bee, then what, pray tell, could old Buzz Buzz be? Some crazy alien creature that just so happens to look like a bee but is actually an almighty, all powerful being, sent to warn you about the impending dangers that are coming for the Earth?
What do you mean that’s exactly what Buzz Buzz is doing here? Really? You’re not making this up? He’s an alien? Well then… I guess he is still a Bee?
5) Vespiquen #416 – Pokemon
Did you think we were going to put the Gen 1 Beedrill up on this list? You would have been right, if it weren’t for Gen 4 and their amazing designs. Okay, so there were some genuinely perplexing design choices too, but ultimately this is the mother of all bee-like Pokemon. Sorry Beedrill, you’ve been replaced as the ultimate Bee in Pokemon – and besides, you’re kind of more like a wasp with stingers like those!
Yes, Vespiquen then, this is actually known as the Beehive Pokemon. This is literally a queen bee, y’know, the type that makes its workers do all the work and it gets to just chill the heck out and be the damn queen? What she says goes (Although you can have male Vespiquen!) Let’s not lie about this, it’s also got a pretty damn cool design to it. Plus, its attacks include Bug Buzz, which when you think about it, is an attack where a bee Pokemon utilises its buzzes. Just pointing this out: That’s a pretty cool bit of detail! Does beedrill have it? No, because Beedrill IS REALLY A FREAKIN’ WASP IN DISGUISE!
4) Not the Bees! – The Wicker Man
Some of us actually like Nicolas Cage! It’s at times very difficult to tell if he’s a good actor or a bad one, in fact Community devoted better part of an episode to trying to work it out, but no matter what you’re opinion of the man, there’s no doubt he loves what he’s doing… whatever that is. But however you look at it the highly unnecessary and plain stupid remake of The Wicker Man, his character Edward Malus simply had to die.
It was a moment of overacting so incredible that the internet simply couldn’t put it down. It was memed, remixed, spattered everywhere along with a whole bunch of other Wicker Man moments, and while Vampire’s Kiss may well have been the more ridiculous film overall, there’s really no competition to his “agonised” screams as the contained swarm is poured into a basket on his head, and the well established allergy he suffers becomes a very terrifying reality. But he did punch a woman in the face while dressed as a bear, so…
3) Space Bees – Futurama
Space bee honey is more delicious than any other, and made all the more valuable because of how hard it is to obtain, having killed the last Planet Express crew in the attempt. The sting of a space bee is instantly fatal to those who aren’t allergic, and if you are allergic then you get to live long enough to feel your eyes boiling out of your head, and unlike regular bees they can sting you as much as they like, and they like. They like very much, especially if you come raiding their space hives.
Space bees are proof that applying the word “space” to anything makes it immediately more awesome. You can ask questions like “How do their wings help them fly in a vacuum?” or “What exactly are they pollinating out there?” and I shall ask you in return “Why are you watching Futurama if you’re just going to act like this?” It’s still very much in question whether or not space honey actually has any kind of calmative effect, as it was a dream-Zoidberg who claimed it did, but it’s still delicious, and still near impossible to get your thieving mitts on.
2) Bumblebee Man – The Simpsons
AIE AIE AIE!
This Spanish man seems to be at the butt of a lot of jokes, which is kind of a joke unto itself, because where is a bees stinger? On its abdomen, but whatever! Yes, the Bumblebee Man comes up way higher on our list than we first anticipated – In fact, much like the running gag that he is, he almost wasn’t even considered for our Top 10 list, which, now that we look back, is unthinkable!
So if you’re a fan of the Simpsons, or have just happened to have enjoyed some of the episodes in the past, there’s no doubt you’ll know this colourful hombre. Usually seen around Krusty the Clown, or on TV of some kind, he seems to be relatively unfortunate – But ultimately appears to be a good guy. Shame that he has to wear that most ridiculous outfit and have to shout “AIE AIE AIE” a lot.
1) Bumblebee – Transformers
Despite Michael Bay’s continued attempts to soil the childhoods of those born in the 80’s with a series of very… very stupid films, there’s one thing that actually came out of the film series rather well. Ok so they removed his voice and replaced it with an assembly of radio clips, but if anything it created a more interesting character from the Autobots “baby brother” without losing any of the foolhardy attitude and the desperate need to prove himself.
Reincarnated as Goldbug by Optimus after a rather extensive reconstruction, Bumblebee has more than once earned the favour he desperately craves of his peers and superiors, and in his recklessness, skill and dedication, he’s earned ours too. Be he cartoon, plastic or CGI, he’s a fun bot with a long history, being the second Transformer to appear on screen ever. Plus he rocks the yellow look, be it as a VW bug or as a Chevvy.
Let’s just all promise to keep Bay away from Biker Mice From Mars and Street Sharks.
With our new queen crowned and her hive gathered, we can only grow stronger! With that in mind we turn our attention once more to those who did not quite make the cut, oh and there were many, a veritable hive in fact. Beedrill, poor Beedrill…
Bees – Boots and Cats
Boot. Cat. Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats and Bees. Wait, why am I mentioning the infamous ‘rap’ here on our Top 10 list? I mean Boots and Cats happen throughout this video, but of course, later in the video we get new words. We get words such as Beef, Leather, Leather Beef… and bees!
This was clutching at straws slightly, but it’s a highly amusing addition to the addictively fun Boots and Cats song, which not everyone knows about. With the inclusion of Boots & Cats on a Siri search, everyone has been getting in on the fun of just saying the words “boots” and “cats” but they seem to keep forgetting the bees! Come on everyone, the bees added an extra element to the relatively primitive boots and cats! If you look outside, you certainly won’t find any cats in boots… But you might find bees!
Real Bees – because they’re in trouble
At this point we all know that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Well that may not be strictly true, I think we’ve ditched the basket for a Dodge Charger and are aiming for some kind of land-speed-apocalypse record. There have been plenty of casualties along the way, we’re actually a mass extinction event at this point, but the one that’ll likely take us with it will be bees.
Without bees we lose almost all of our flowering plants, of which most produce some kind of important foodstuff or a chemical component for medicines, or feed creatures that form most our meat supply. The death of bees as a result of pesticides and general atmospheric toxins will effectively eradicate a substantial amount of our diet, as well as a lot of other important essentials like cotton.
We’re not exactly known for taking to the soapbox here on GeekOut, but while we’re here and talking about the subject, it’s worth spreading the knowledge. Holla at your bee!
Oh gods, did I just write that?
And once more our list is done. Another Top 10 in the past and once again we look to the future. While you’re deliberating our choices for the greatest and most questionable bees, take the extraordinary step of deciding on our list for next week!