Film Review – Santa’s Slay
So they say that when Santa comes down the chimney, he’ll either get stuck or bring with him some gifts and goodies. Just make sure to lay out some cookies and some milk, or something along those lines and he’ll be appeased. Granted, appeasing Santa might be the last thing you want to do when he’s going around murdering people just for his own entertainment. This is my review of Santa’s Slay, a Christmas horror film.
Being a low-budget B-movie means that you generally have to put up with poor acting, lame special effects and dreadful scripts. Thankfully, this one doesn’t disappoint as it delivers on all three fronts. As I’m a fan of B-movies, this was nothing more than a treat. I felt as if all of my Christmas presents were delivered in one fell swoop. Yes, I certainly was on the good boys and girls list, so Santa delivered a helping of whoop-ass nice and early.
Would I recommend this film to any connoisseur of filmography? Definitely not. Instead, I’d recommend this if you’re looking for a cheap laugh and a lot of stupid antics. It’s got a ridiculous premise, where basically Santa is actually the Antichrist. I wish I could make this up. He rides around on Hell-Deer and there’s bazookas and… Oh my word, you really do need to see this film if you’re up for the absurd!
Santa Clause, played by Bill Goldberg of WWE fame, probably had a field day in this film. It’s so cheesy, that I think you can’t help but kind of love how much fromage was stewed when the writing team came up with this film. No, this film has never been considered a ‘good’ film by any stretch of the imagination, but if you’re looking for some alternative viewing this Christmas, I heavily recommend this. It’s exactly what you want it to be: Santa going around killing people, because they’ve all been naughty. Although to be fair, some of the people he kills are nice, but that’s besides the point.
The very first scene features a rather rich looking family having their Christmas dinner. They’re rather crude, vile people. The man of the family demands his respect, whereas other people in the house are having very public intimate moments and generally allowing gluttons be gluttons. The dog, doodles, even shows how greedy it is, jumping up to the table to have some food as provided by its owner. Suddenly, Santa bursts down the chimney and even though the family are excited to see Santa, he begins his murderous mayhem… And it’s glorious! Whilst Santa is killing gleefully, typical Christmas antic music.
Kick the dog and watch it swing around the fan into the fireplace, stab a mans hands into the table and kill him with turkey. Drown a woman in egg nog (presumably). As you can tell, you will not be getting storytelling gold, but instead if you are happy with a cheap laugh, I’d recommend this film to you. I love bad movies. This is as bad as it gets… And I’d have it no other way. Ho ho ho, merry deathmas ladies and gentlemen. But alas, have you seen this film? Let us know in the comments below, over on Facebook or Twitter.
Merry Christmas folks.