Top 10 Dinosaurs
You don’t have to be a bonehead to appreciate the magnificence of the majestic, yet extinct beasts that are dinosaurs. Take for instance, the not so humble T-Rex, who ends up in just about everything relating to dinosaurs. But this isn’t a list of the very best in T-Rex, no, this is way better than that. This is our list of our personal favourite dinosaurs. So buckle up, get ready to have a prehistoric snack or two (please check the expiratory date) and enjoy this weeks’ Top 10!
Now get ready, I’ve already mentioned them, but first on our list is the mighty predator itself: the Tyrannosaurus Rex!
10. Jurassic Park
Watch what you drink in this resort. You’re under very little risk of skeevy drinking companions, well, except for Wayne Knight, but if you can see ripples then you may well be at risk of severe dismemberment and undead terror. The resurrected tyrannosaurus rex is iconic to the series, but this prehistoric theme park features more than a few memorable exhibits, maybe a quick stop by the raptor inclosure, the infectious dilophosaurus, or catch a breather in some nice, warm triceratops crap.
The park has a hit-and-miss safety record, but you’d be a fool to pass up an opportunity to meet naturalist and necromancer Richard Attenborough, not to mention a few of history’s most famous predators. Just remember that any mistakes in scale – for example velociraptors bigger than turkeys, are as a result of underdeveloped cloning technology.
9. The Land Before Time
This 1988 adventure classic features a cast of adorable little herbivores making their way through a hostile world in an effort to be reunited with their families, and dodging some of the late cretaceous’ more terrifying hazards, tar pits, open lava flows, and the dreaded Sharptooth.
The Land Before Time spawned numerous sequels before eventually dying out in 2007 with the ominous thirteenth instalment, and not even a short lived TV series could sustain it beyond its twenty year lifespan. The opening film of the franchise was an exploration in prejudice and tolerance, the different species learning to cooperate and thrive because of their differences, not in spite of them. Still can’t trust a dirty T-Rex though, not with your life!
8. Triceracop, Kung Fury
Amidst the nauseating levels of 80’s clichés is one reference that’s older still. After losing his partner in a freak Kung-Fu based crime incident that makes a normal beat-cop into a Kung-Fu special effects wizard, Kung Fury loses sight of what’s acceptable police behaviour, and is appointed a new partner, Triceracop. He abandons Triceracop to go and kill Hitler, but in the end they reconcile in 1940’s germany.
As well as being a police officer with a triceratops-head and amazingly precognisant parents, Triceracop is a crack shot, disabling enemy combatants with one flawlessly placed bullet, right in the groin! Together with Hackerman, Thor, Katana and Barbariana, they make an elite team of bad-guy killers who bounce through time!
7. #697 Tyrantrum, Pokemon
This one is a little bit of a technicality, but I’m going to include it. Feel free to disagree with us in the comments below, but we both decided that it is in fact a Dinosaur. Whilst Aerodactyl in canon fits the idea of a dinosaur Pokemon more suitably, it’s kind of obvious where the designers took their inspiration for Tyrantrum. Another Tyrannosaurus Rex has been added to our list of already sizable number of the bipeds, but this Pokemon is superb!
It’s a Flying Dragon type in the world of Pokemon, more akin to something along the lines of Dragonite. Although it is a Flying Dragon type, Tyrantrum is described in ways that should make it abundantly clear that the developers wanted him to be considered the king of the dinosaurs and it’s hard to argue with a design like his. Here are two entries from the Pokedex, from Pokemon X and Pokemon Y editions:
|Thanks to its gargantuan jaws, which could shred thick metal plates as if they were paper, it was invincible in the ancient world it once inhabited.|
|Nothing could stop this Pokémon 100 million years ago, so it behaved like a king.|
Nothing can stop the undisputed king of the dinosaurs in Pokemon. Oh except for fairy types. And definitely Lapras… and Abomnasnow… and Regice… And Articuno… Not to mention other dragons—… Oh and I guess a really over-levelled version of its prevolution could potentially topple it.
6. Nobita’s Dinosaur, Doraemon
Doraemon is the cat-thing that you see to the left of the dinosaur being hugged by the human (Nobita)… But Doraemon is a seriously well known and much loved franchise in Japan. The film first came out in the 1980s and was well received enough to receive a remake as recently as 2006, just under 10 years ago at the time of writing. The story of Nobita’s Dinosaur sees Sumeo showing everyone except for Nobita a fossilised dinosaurs claw. Angrily, Nobita makes claims that he would be able to find a real living dinosaur, because anger does often override the logical part of your brain. Facts, folks.
The main dinosaur friend that Nobita encounters is a Futabasaurus, a very long necked dinosaur with large spacing between its eye sockets and its nostrils. Nobita names his new found dino-buddy Piisuke. As the dinosaur grows with age, Doraemon and Nobita send it back in time 100 million years, only to be attacked by an assailant who wants to buy Piisuke from Nobita. The dinosaur is actually transported to America and woah chaos ensues… Okay, reading this back, this story is strange… But it’s a charming watch. Go watch it, don’t read my ramblings about it. You’ll leave it feeling all warm and fuzzy.
5. Gon, Tekken & Own Manga
Gon is a licensed guest character in Tekken 3, a character from a manga from the same name. Gon is a teeny tiny dinosaur who is basically a bit of a bully. Speedy, very powerful and overall a bit of a nightmare to deal with, Gon only has one goal in life: To cause mischief. He does so many times over and is actually one of the very few characters who is barely affected by True Ogre’s destructive energies.
When you’re a pint-sized dinosaur who is able to withstand a massive fireball to the face, without even flinching, you know you’re onto a winner! Gon only takes one point of damage from True Ogre’s fireball, which is more than the other fighters of the Tekken franchise can say. He’s one of the most requested characters to make a return to the franchise, however due to licensing issues, Namco are unable to get him back for another Tekken. It’s a shame, but hey, you can still read the manga which is a joy to read. It’s gleefully written and you end up loving him, even though in reality he’s nothing more than a bully. That scamp!
4. Yoshi, Mario
If Yoshi didn’t make it into our list, wouldn’t that have been a sin? Still, this is Yoshi who needs absolutely no introduction. Here’s an interesting tidbit, I have a Yoshi figure on my desk at my day-job. In my office, there aren’t many gamers, but most people can recognise Yoshi and even if they don’t know his name, they know that he’s from the Mario franchise. But why does Yoshi deserve to be so high-up on the list? Is it just because he’s in one of the most successful franchises in video games? No, here’s why:
Yoshi first debuted in 1990, in Super Mario World where he was Mario and Luigi’s sidekick (Damn, a sidekick for a sidekick. That’s low!) However, he was such a well received character that he ended up having several of his own games, one of which was the immensely popular Yoshi’s Island. WhatCulture rated him as the #1 sidekick of all time and it’s hard to argue with Yoshi being a stellar character. With a simplistic design and a big lovable smile, everyone loves Yoshi.
3. Wexter, Axe Cop
If you’ve ever mocked a tyrannosaurus for having teeny tiny arms then you are about to regret it.
Axe Cop is a cartoon series written by a five year old, and animated by his twenty nine year old brother, and it follows the erratic adventures of a cop with an axe who chops off bad-guys heads, because that’s how to deal with bad-guys, they don’t learn unless you decapitate them. Amongst Axe Cop’s trusted team is Flute Cop, Grey Diamond, Sockerang, and the mighty Wexter.
Wexter’s short arms have been replaced with gatling cannons, and can breathe fire, for extra awesomeness and bad-guy killing! Incidentally he can also jump between planets, which Axe Cop can also do but it looks much cooler when you do it on the back of a T-Rex with gatling cannons for arms. Especially if you’re both wearing shades.
2. Dinosaurs, TV Series
NOT THE MAMA, NOT THE MAMA!
This is an oft-remembered television show from the 90s started life in America on the ABC network, but eventually made its way here in the UK. A concept so out-there and so wacky, it was unimaginable at the time of conception. From the mind of puppeteer genius Jim Henson, who died a year before it came to light, Dinosaurs was a typical sitcom about a family in a toxic environment. Quite literally… Although the major difference to Dinosaurs and other sitcoms around the same era was that it featured a family of puppet dinosaurs, anthropomorphic ones that could talk, naturally.
The idea was so strange, that it didn’t take off until the creation of Matt Groening’s cartoon sitcom hit, The Simpsons. After that, the sitcom genre was open to all sorts of fun and games, one of the earliest oddities to this was Dinosaurs. With the iconic baby smacking his parents upside the head (usually the father) and screaming out “NOT THE PAPA!”, these five dinosaurs were larger than life characters that blessed our screens… And we miss them big time. However, would I say that it should get remade? No. Some things are best left extinct.
1. Grimlock, Transformers
Grimlock is king, Grimlock is strongest of all!
The Dinobot branch of the autobot forces may not be the brightest of combatants, but under the judicial watch of Optimus Prime they are a real force to be reckoned with, rivalling even the Decepticon Devastator in power. And of amongst the Dinobots there can be only one leader, the biggest and strongest, stronger even than Prime himself, Grimlock.
Yet another Tyrannosaurus to make it to the top of the food chain. Grimlock may not be able to string a grammatically correct sentence together, and he may have a bit of an ego but it’s not entirely undeserved. As well as being a fully mechanical apex-predator, he is able to turn into a humanoid, a variety of other beasts and a Ford Mustang. I never watched the Age of Extinction version of the king of Dinobots, but I doubt even Michael Bay could ruin this prehistoric champion.
Well not all dinos are born equal, I mean some are lower on the food chain than others. But no matter, these fossils are coming back just to cause mayhem upon the world once more… Er, kind of. They are worth looking at, but are these in actuality proper dinosaurs? Only one way to find out: OPEN WIDE, BIG GUYS!
Monster Hunter is an amazing game where you go about and hunt down some great big monsters, like the name suggests. It’s a well established franchise, with some amazing gameplay and stunning visuals. However, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves: What you’re hunting isn’t always monsters. When you’re doing fighting slimes and wyverns and the likes, there are creatures that look similar to dinosaurs.
Now don’t get us wrong: We’re not actually saying these are dinosaurs, but there are some striking similarities between dinosaurs and whatever some of the monsters in the game are. We couldn’t quite put this game in the Top 10 list because we couldn’t say for sure if there are dinosaurs, but holy moly, does that ever look like one?!
Walking With Dinosaurs
My dinosaur fascination began long before the elegantly rendered BBC documentary, but there’s no doubt that the series that premiered in 1999 took a spark and fanned it into a blaze that drew me into the other incredible prehistoric studies that would come later – Walking With Monsters that studied what life came before the ages of dino-dominion, and Walking With Beasts that tracked the rise of the mammal in an ever changing world.
Voiced by Thor director Kenneth Branagh, in a fashion made popular by David Attenborough, the series turned the lives of these long extinct creatures into a narrative, bringing life to the facts through beautiful storytelling and (at the time) advanced CGI and puppetry. The model has been mimicked since in Planet Dinosaur, the more up-to-date analysis on the incredible discoveries made since WWD first aired.
Indeed, WWD has spawned many spinoffs, one episode specials, a stage show, and a theatrical release, and the series today remains as enjoyable as the first viewing.
We’ve had enough, it’s time to travel back to the modern era and actually get back on with some work. We’re fed up of these dinosaurs stepping on us and eating us, it’s time to leave them all to remain deader than a dodo. But alas, these are just our personal top dinosaurs. Perhaps you agree with us, or maybe you’ve got a strong jaw and want to make your roars heard? Let us know what you thought in the comments below, or over on Facebook and Twitter. Also, don’t forget to vote on next weeks’ choices for our next list! Only you can make that decision.
Whilst you’re digging through the fossils of these dinosaurs, why not go excavating and read through our ancient Top 10?