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Sony’s Movie Timetable

Here’s a story that very nearly passed me by. Sony recently released their current timetable for theatre releases over the next four years! It’s one hell of a mixed bag, and I’m curious to hear your opinions.

I’m on holiday at the moment, so don’t expect me to join the conversation quite so readily as usual, but leave your thoughts and opinions on these upcoming releases down below, and I’ll talk to you all soon!

The 5th Wave

The-5th-Wave-movie

[J Blakeson (director); Chloë Grace Moretz, Nick Robinson] – 15/1/16 

Based on the novel of the same name, four waves of alien invaders have already brought humanity to it’s knees. I’m a Chloe Moretz fan, and this looks to be following the wave of teen-fiction films like The Hunger Games, Divergent, Maze Runner and Enders Game, and there have been some exceptional films have emerged from that trend of late. Here’s hoping.

Grimsby

[Louis Leterrier (director); Sacha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Isla Fisher] – 4/3/16

Film about a spy and a football hooligan with Sacha Baron Cohen as a headline act. I fully expect a painful array of British clichés and bad comedy. I also fully expect to not watch it. NEXT!

Money Monster

[Jodie Foster (director); George Clooney, Julia Roberts] – 8/4/16

I haven’t seen Jodie Foster direct before. She’s got a few credentials, episodes of major TV shows and the like, but I’d be curious to see her performing from behind the camera. The story focuses on a the kidnapping of a television stock-advisor by someone who lost big. Look forward to it.

The Angry Birds Movie

[Clay Kaytis & Fergal Reilly (directors); Jason Sudeikis, Peter Dinklage] – 20/5/16

Between this and Pixels, I’m starting to have some serious doubts – not just about the marriage between video games and the movie industry – but about Peter Dinklage. What happened to you man? Game of Thrones and Knights of Badassdom gave us amazing performances, but are you just desperate to keep the attention from the nerd crowd, ’cause this won’t do it.

The Shallows

24/6/16

Does anyone have any information on this? The imdb entry is tragically unhelpful (for a change). Does anyone know of any major works of literature, any projects in the works? Anyway, moving on…

Ghostbusters

[Paul Feig (director); Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Chris Hemsworth] – 15/7/16

ghostbusters-2016-official

We’ve all heard about this one no doubt. For those of you not already aware this remake will feature an all-female Ghostbuster line-up. Initially this kind of bugged me but I’ve grown to like the idea, what I’m not hugely enamoured with is the casting choices made so far. I am not a fan of Wiig or McCarthy, and Paul Feig the director has directed a lot of the projects that I dislike them for.

I’m prepared to reserve judgement, as Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray are both lined up for cameo appearances, I can only hope that their stamp of approval will make going to the cinema worth the bother.

Sausage Party

[Greg Tiernan & Conrad Verson (directors); Seth Rogen, James Franco] – 12/8/16

Another Rogen/Franco piece. I hate to admit that I like these guys, they’re making films for the sheer enjoyment of it instead of hunting down an intellectual property to bring to the big screen and rake in the cash that follows. They pursue their own ideas, and get to work with friends while they do it, I have to respect that.

This one is about a sausage searching for the meaning of his existence…

Well at least it’s keeping them out of trouble.

Patient Zero

[Stefan Ruzowitzky (director); Matt Smith, Natalie Dormer] – 2/9/16

This twist on the zombie film features a lot of British talent (a lot of which emerging from Game of Thrones, no surprises there) and tells the tale of a man who has the ability to “talk zombie”. Sounds a little Warm Bodies to me, and with this as the concept I almost hope that this isn’t a serious film, but one way or another I suspect I’ll enjoy this one.

The Magnificent Seven

[Antoine Fuqua (director); Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Matt Bomer] – 23/9/16

The slow and steady trickle of Western remakes continues with a pretty huge title! Chris Pratt continues his quest to be everywhere for the next three years, and who can blame him?

Inferno

[Ron Howard (director); Tom Hanks, Felicity Jones, Omar Sy, Irrfan Khan] – 16/10/16

Robert Langdon returns! I guess we’ll just skip The Lost Symbol and move straight on to the next Dan Brown novel in the weird historical-detective series that began with the DaVinci Code.

Underworld 5

[Kate Beckinsale, Theo James] – 21/10/16

Eh…

I liked the first Underworld film. I enjoyed the second film, Evolution. After Rise of the Lycans I found I was starting to grow weary, and I couldn’t even watch Awakening, I’m not sure why. So when I learn that there is a fifth film under way my enthusiasm is somewhat diminished. It could be time I got caught up. I look to you to offer your opinions here.

Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk

[Ang Lee (director); Joe Alwyn, Vin Diesel, Kristen Stewart] – 11/11/16

A film about the U.S’s treatment of “war heroes”. Ang Lee is a director better suited to films about the human experience, Crouching Tiger being a fairly emotional film as well as displaying some excellent wire-fu fight scenes. We’d all rather put his 2003 Hulk behind us, but this could be quite good if you like your drama films.

Just try to ignore the leading lady. Shouldn’t be too difficult.

Passengers

[Chris Pratt, Jennifer Lawrence] – 21/12/16

Pratt plays an interstellar colonist who is awoken sixty years too early from stasis. Rather than die old and alone he wakes someone up to keep him company, a little selfish maybe but offers some interesting prospects for a narrative.

The cast thus far is limited but compelling. Michael Sheen and Laurence Fishburne are also joining the list, and I sincerely hope that the cast stays at exactly that. I’d pay to watch a conversation between those four quite happily, and I’d pay cinema entry to see them do it IN SPAAAACE!

Jumanji

25/12/16

Here is where things really pique my curiosity! Biggest question, who could possibly take the role of Alan Parrish in place of Robin Williams? It has been over twenty years, considering that it took a mere ten for Spider-Man to get rebooted and that’s counting from the first film (counting from Spider-Man 3, a paltry five years) I would say that it has been a reasonable length of time to warrant revisiting this classic film.

But rewatch Jumanji. Has it dated that badly? The acting is good, the fashion is nothing to be embarrassed about, even the special effects are still of passable quality today. I have vague memories of an enormous mobile phone, but it was the nineties, and one giant phone does not immediately require a full remake.

The Dark Tower

[Nikolaj Arcel (director)] – 13/1/17

darktowerlongroad

Here’s a book series that has long awaited interpretation to the screen, but given the size and scope of the fantasy novels would it have been better served by a début on the small-screen? Steven King’s prolific works have already found massive success, he is a true titan of literature, film and television, spanning genres in both his work, and even in this series, and it will take a great deal of cunning to bring such an enormous project to life.

At the tiller is a director whose works include The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and King’s Game, as well as a mixture of works from different genres. Keep your fingers crossed because this could well be the beginning of something beautiful.

Resident Evil 6

[Paul W.S. Anderson (director); Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter] – 27/1/17

You have approximately sixteen months to decide how little self respect you have, before you trudge back to the cinema to watch Anderson flay the name Resident Evil once again. There may yet come a time where there are more ResE films than there are games.

Bad Boys 3

17/2/17

The renegade cops are back but Will Smith may not be. Nice to see a series return without a reboot but not really much more to say without sending you to watch 1 and 2.

Baby Driver

[Edgar Wright (director)] – 17/3/17

An Edgar Wright film about a young getaway driver. Anyone else thinking it’s a dark turn for Look Who’s Talking?

Get Smurfy

[Kelly Asbury (director); Mandy Patinkin, Demi Lovato, Rainn Wilson] – 31/3/17

I’ll be honest, I haven’t seen either of the animated Smurf films. The Smurfs are famous for their family friendly parodies, so this seems a next rational step, and this will be entirely animated. Whether they continue with the CGI or go back to traditional 2D remains to be seen, but there’s a 2D Peanuts film on the way that really looks stunning.

Barbie

2/6/17

Pass! Moving on…

Uncharted

30/6/17

With Agent 47 on its’ way, hopes are high for a film based on a video game that’s finally good! Uncharted is praised for its’ story and characters, but it’ll take some good casting and a decent director to make this work.

As an interesting side note, on imdb this is tagged as “first of a trilogy”. That’s either an optimistic move on Sony’s part or a tag that’s been carried over from the game series.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

[Jon Watts (director); Tom Holland, Marisa Tomei] – 28/7/17

tom-holland-spider-man-cast-pic

The delayed license-holding film with newly cast Tom Holland who should be debuting in Captain America: Civil War. This could yet prove to be the Sinister Six film hinted at in Amazing Spider-Man 2, which actually sounds pretty good. I liked Andrew Garfield so Holland has a lot to do to prove his wall-crawling worth. I’m also curious to see what Sony do with Spidey now he’s officially in the MCU.

The Equalizer 2

[Denzel Washington] – 29/9/17

I heard mixed things about the first film. I didn’t watch that, and I don’t care enough to watch the next one. Anyone care to venture an opinion here? Join me in the comments down below.

The Lamb

8/12/17

The closest thing I can find to information here is that it’s an animation about a lamb who changes the world, which was actually not what I was thinking it would be.

Animated Spider-Man

[Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (writers)] – 20/7/18

The last time I saw an animated Spider-Man was in a few episodes of the cartoon Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, but I’m wondering if this really is an option for big-screen release! There’s three years for this to be cancelled, set back, altered or anything else Sony wants to do to screw over yet another Spider-Man project, but who knows, let’s stay optimistic here.

Bad Boys 4

3/7/19

Not one sequel, but two! Don’t know what I’m talking about? That means you skipped a heading, you get back up there! Read the article properly!

2 responses

  1. Some cool stuff to look forward to… and some potential flops too.

    Like

    August 18, 2015 at 11:29 am

  2. I know Underworld is all about the undead and stuff but that’s one franchise that I really think they should let rest in peace now.

    Re: The Shallows there is a non-fiction book by Nicholas Carr called The Shallows: it’s all about how the internet is rewiring our brains and making us all think in a more superficial way. I don’t really see how that could inspire a movie but it did inspire a superb album by the Leeds-based alternative/post rock band I Like Trains.

    Like

    August 18, 2015 at 5:43 pm

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