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Becoming a… Santa’s little helper

Have you ever wanted to pursue a career in being a helper for the magical man in the south pole? It’s not as easy as you might think it is, but today we’re going to look at the requirements to professionally become one of Santa’s Little Helpers. Trust me; this job is not for the faint of heart, so do stick around!

Becoming a

Qualifications

There are no formal qualifications needed! That’s the positive to applying as one of Santa’s Little Helpers. Instead, there are many requirements to becoming a helper of the magical man in red and white.

For example, are you willing to work unsocial hours? You must work non-stop, 24-7 in fact. You must be making toys from the moment you are in the workshop until the moment you leave and there’s no definitive proof that you actually even get to leave the workshop. This isn’t just a workshop, it’s a sweatshop, intended to separate the elves from the boys.

Some Elves get to escape the toy-crafting sweatshop-like conveyor belt duties, to instead being in charge of the Reindeer. This sounds like an exciting prospect for a Zoologist, but trust me, this is even worst than the sweatshop like conditions of Santa’s workshop!

Taken directly from a website dedicated to the serious investigation of Reindeer, “Reindeer are strong, energy-efficient running machines. A 20 pound new calf can outrun a man, and reindeer in general are more efficient than most other land mammals.” This is quite a scary fact, as when you consider the height of an Elf in comparison to it’s human counter parts, these little men and women are nowhere near big enough to handle these Reindeer! These creatures are brutal savages, able to tear apart anything that stands in it’s way – Simply by running at it’s foe! Imagine how simply it’d run through an Elf. Terrifying working conditions for Santa’s employees.

How to apply

A little bit different to traditional jobs, to apply to become one of Santa’s little helpers, you generally will be recruited. Either that or you’ll be made inside of the workshop. Let’s not go into detail as to how that happened, but you’re made inside of the workshop, or brought in. Generally you cannot hand out a CV. There are ways to experience being a Santa’s Little Helper, if you are willing to work with men who dress up as Santa.

But a lot of people will consider this to being lesser work than the real job of a Santa’s Little Helper. Sadly, one extra little caveat stipulates that these little helpers are not only Elves, but they are magical Elves too. Make sure you have potency in magic’s before you apply for this role!

That’s it, it’s not hard to become one, nor is it particularly a safe nor well paying role… But children all across the world can tucked in bed on Christmas Eve happily, knowing their favourite elves have been hard at work on new toys and products just for them.

Have you ever thought about the hardships of being one of Santa’s Little Helpers? Are you a little magical helper who feels like they could do with helping Santa during his times of struggle? Can you cope with the seriously unsocial hours? Let us know in the comments below and of course, we wish you a merry Christmas here at GeekOut South-West.

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