Top 10 Alternative Santa’s
We’re all familiar with the man in the big red suit who comes down our chimneys baring gifts. Just recently, we spoke about all of the ways we can keep our beady little eyes on the fellow as he makes his way around the earth.
So in this weeks Top 10, our last one before Christmas, we thought we’d look at the Top 10 alternative Santa’s in the whole of geekdom. We’ve analysed many different aspects of each of these Santa’s and there’s even a controversial decision to put one only in an honourable mention – so do let us know your opinions on him being there. Here we go then with our Top 10 Alternative Santa’s in Geekdom.
10 – Epic Rap Battles – Santa
This one’s on us. We nerd the hell out for Epic Rap Battles of History, and we argue about it constantly, that’s why we were so pleased to do a Top 10 list for it a few weeks ago. Nice Peter has the height, if not the gut for, and surrounded by Epic Lloyd elves standing off against Snoop-Moses, he was always going to get a place on this list because we just can’t help ourselves.
9 – Charlie Santa – Payday
As if Payday wasn’t already a messy enough day as it is. You see, it’s not exactly the prettiest of games in that it’s full of guns, killings and outright mayhem. In a game where you are carrying out heists, with or without the help of others, they decided to make the game one step more frightening. In comes the masked face of Saint Nicholas himself! Yes, that’s right – You can play a campaign of The Charlie Santa Heist. Ho ho ho, kiddies!
8 – Santa vs Superman – Robot Chicken
Fans of Robot Chicken will likely be able to bwak along to the sound of Robot Chicken’s entrance theme tune and Seth MacFarlane has done it once again. He’s created a skit as part of Robot Chicken where Santa finally gets himself a neighbour in the form of Superman.
Well they both begin with the letter S, so you’d have thought it’d be a match made in heaven, right? Clearly not, as Santa isn’t fond of his new neighbour, who clearly isn’t fond of him either.
7 – Baddest Santa – Killing Floor
When you look at the aging man above, you don’t see much of a hero in your mind. Instead, you see a bit of a slob in some dirty Santa robes and you hope that he has at least cleaned his teeth. He hasn’t, but to make matters worse, he’s one really annoyed Santa – Because all of them Horzine Specimen causing problems with being a Santa for the kids at the local shopping mall.
So with vengeance in his heart, the Baddest Santa DLC (and unlockable character), is looking to take action against the Zed that took away the children. The Zed that put him out of business will now be permanently left on the naughty list.
6 – Salvador “Naughty List” Skin – Borderlands 2
I don’t think I know of a character who looks more like Santa without actually being him than Salvador. The “How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day” DLC featured snowman heads and Christmas skins for all the characters. While I love Krieg’s gift-wrapping, there’s no denying that Salvador nails the Clause look to the wall with big guns.
It’s a shame that 2K got so fixed on the snowman heads. I would have loved to have seen the Gunzerker sporting a jolly red hat and luxurious white bears as he charged around filling his sack with loot and turning the snow red as he crosses names off the naughty list.
5 – Great Father Winter – World of Warcraft
Great Father Winter visits the inhabitants of Ironforge (dwarf, pictured above) and Orgrimmar (Orc), every single year. He bares gifts and he also has quests. There’s egg nog and there’s celebrations galore. Let’s be honest: This is as close to Father Christmas without being Father Christmas as is possible.
Plus, something about a Dwarf or an Orc Santa is quite awesome.
4 – Santa Claus – Doctor Who
Fans of the Sci-Fi hit Doctor Who will be waiting eagerly with anticipation for this years Doctor Who Christmas Special. Often, Doctor Who ends up having a Christmas special, with Santa Claus heavily involved.
This year is no exception and we’re looking forward to being able to tell you more about this new edition of Doctor Who working with Santa.
3 – Robot Santa Claus – Futurama
You’d better not breathe, you’d better not move,
You’re better off dead, I’m telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!
Not a lot more needs to be said there. A robot designed to determine naughty from nice becomes an Aasimov nightmare when he determines that absolutely everyone (except Zoidberg) has been very, very naughty indeed. This particular Santa delivers gift-wrapped death and badass songs, with his best buddies Kwanza-bot and Hanukah Zombie.
2 – Hogfather – Discworld
The renowned subverter of the familiar and expected, Terry Pratchett turned his attention on jolly old Father Christmas. In fact, he slapped the classic red hat and coat onto Death himself, who took it upon himself to deliver the gifts for Hogswatch so that the kids would believe! He’s a loving soul at heart-cavity.
Hogfather is an amazing read, the 25th in the Discworld series (not that you need to read them all in the right order), and it takes the Santa Claus legend all the way back to its’ pagan roots in a fantastic montage scene that forms a major part of the conclusion. No spoilers though, go read.
1 – Santa Claus – Marvel Universe (Earth-616)
What a cop out.
You went for Marvel as the number one.
Boo. Bad Show.
No seriously, this is as geeky and as anti-santa as you can get. I mean look at the picture above for one! That is one very mad looking Santa with a katana to boot. In the Earth-616 universe of Marvel, Santa Claus has worked closely with many of the Earths heroes.
He’s a mutant, he has magical powers (powers such as longevity, the ability to fit through any chimney and avoiding any fire damage in the process, levitation up chimneys and shapeshifting himself and anyone he desires). The sack he carries around is actually a magical portal, hence he can carry so many presents and yes: he has the ability to teleport with the power of his sleigh.
He commands an army of solar powered Elves, of whom have their own federation called E.L.F (the Elf Labour Foundation) and they can work harder than almost any other creature. Believe you me, this Santa is one to be reckoned with – He means business!
Jack Skellington – Nightmare Before Christmas
We debated this really hard, to the point where we now have to write an article about what’s geeky and what’s pop-culture, but here we go:
Who doesn’t love A Nightmare Before Christmas? Easily the best musical ever, and I do not like musicals all that much. It’s the new Christmas classic, a tale of redemption and learning to accept who you truly are and love yourself for it. Jack Skellington just really wants to spread some joy for a change, and how better to do that than taking Santa’s job? And Santa.
Had we done the Top 10 “different” Christmas songs I would have dug my heels in for Kidnap the Sandy Claws.
So here’s a bit of a curveball, Santa’s evil sidekick, the goat-legged child-snatcher Krampus. Krampus seems to be going through some kind of revival at the moment, but he was fairly unknown outside a few countries, now he’s popping up in American Dad, Grimm and loads of other places.
I’ve been doing research on Krampus lately (for reasons) and he’s often strongly associated with St. Nick, but while Santa got a marketing deal with Coca Cola, Krampus got some pretty gnarly looking festivals…. He’s like Christmas Burning Man.
Now that the jolly bowl of jelly known as Father Christmas, Santa Claus and Saint Nick has been looked at from all these different media formats, we feel we might have uncovered more than we originally bargained for. Marvel have told us he’s a mutant – I think that’s enough said and makes plenty of sense when you consider how hard it would be to get all around the world on Christmas day!
Let us know your opinion on us having Jack Skellington as an honourable mention for not being geeky enough for our criteria. It’s a potentially contentious decision, but we thought long and hard about it.
Do you agree with our list? Do you have any others you’d have liked to have seen in this list? What do you think? Join in the conversation below and that’s it for Top 10 until the new year comes by – So don’t worry, we’re not getting rid of these, it’s just on hold in the mean time! Why not come up with your brilliant ideas for Top 10‘s!? We’d love to take on a good challenge!