Top 10 Disturbing Pokemon
Welcome back to our weekly Top 10 series, where this week we allowed our audience to pick our topic… The votes are in and it’s time for the Top 10 Disturbing Pokemon! Could you see your favourite Pokemon amongst the list or are your suggestions completely different to what you see here? As always, please do get involved and let’s get disturbed in this place!
We’re starting quite simply with one of the most elegant and graceful Pokemon in the whole of the Pokedex. The Gorebyss is a graceful eel-like water-type Pokemon that swims quickly and beautifully through the seas it travels.
Wait… What does this Pokedex entry say..?
“Although Gorebyss is the very picture of elegance and beauty while swimming, it is also cruel. When it spots prey, this Pokémon inserts its thin mouth into the prey’s body and drains the prey of its body fluids.”
Much like long-nosed creatures in the real world, Gorebyss likes to drain its preys fluids, killing it from the inside out. Yuck!
Cubone has appeared in many “creepy pokemon” lists before, and it still deserves its’ place amongst the greats. We all know the story by now: Cubones don their mother’s skull as a helmet as they grieve her passing, growing to incorporate it as protective armour as it becomes a fully fledged Marrowak. Then there is the infamous lonely cubone sitting mournfully in Pokemon Tower in Lavender town.
Though our list is filling up with darker and darker tales from the newer generations, it’s still a twisted thing to take, clean, and wear the skull of a parent until it fuses with your head. So far as charnel imagery goes that’s pretty far up on the list, but sadly, it wouldn’t even top our list of generation 1 pokemon.
The Unown are a strange bunch to begin with, when you consider the fact they are basically letters of the alphabet with just one giant eye. They sometimes even made reading quite hard in Pokemon Gold and Silver, with their cryptic messages.
The disturbing thing gets deeper when you think more about it. These Unown have no actual data on them as to if they came before language itself. In which case, how did their forms take such shape? Can they change their shape? There’s all the letters of the alphabet along with a super special ! and a ? Unown. What, you didn’t know about them being hidden in Ruins of Alph? I made sure I didn’t leave there, with the Unowns very own radio station.
Plus we’re not too sure if we know everything about the Unown. But they clearly want to communicate with us… for some reason.
Spoink is a lovely little thing isn’t it? How adorable, a little bouncing pig. It bounces a ball on its head and it’s just the jolliest thing you’ve ever seen!
“Spoink bounces around on its tail. The shock of its bouncing makes its heart pump. As a result, this Pokémon cannot afford to stop bouncing – if it stops, its heart will stop.”
Damn it Pokemon, you’ve struck the disturbing scale once again!
When you realise it’s name is really close to “repent”, that immediately makes it quite worrying. But worse still is when you realise that this Pokemon feeds off the souls of the recently deceased. No, really – it does.
“The spirits it absorbs fuel its baleful fire. It hangs around hospitals waiting for people to pass on. ”
It’s flame represents all of the souls it’s eaten. All of it’s flame attacks are from the souls of the dead. This is why there are no graveyards for humans in the world of Pokemon!! They have no way to remember their lost ones. Perhaps they’re too afraid to build such a place.
Phantump is what happens when children get lost inside the woods… And die there! There’s not much denying this one as it’s stated (though not as fact) in the Pokedex. Follow this Pokemon with Lampert and we realised that Pokemon and humans might be closer related than first meets the eye.
Phantump looks adorable, but remember: Each time you encounter one, a child died in the woods you’re exploring to bring it into existence.
A psychotropic mushroom uses the entire Paras species to self-propagate. The victimized insects follow the whims of the parasitic fungus, feeding them both, and seeding new mushrooms onto the young once hatched. Parasect is the final stage of the symbiosis, once the mushroom has grown large and strong enough to entirely rob the creature of its’ free will, making it a sightless zombie.
Oh but here’s the really scary thing. Ever heard of cordyceps? Look it up because Parasect is REAL. The fungus uncaringly inhabits the bodies of insects, growing long polypus growths on the hosts’ body, and controlling it’s mind to make it seek larger populous of prey. Many insect species can now identify a cordyceps victim and avoid it like harbinger of death.
While many pokemon-rights advocates will tell you that the rumours about Hypnos capturing children are wild exaggerations of an isolated incident, it makes it no less unnerving to know that a stunted humanoid monster capable of mass entrancing crowds of people wander the wild places of the world, and where they go, victims follow.
The sad fact of the matter is that Hypno is a powerful weapon in the wrong hands, far more capable of manipulating the thoughts of human and poke-kind to its’ whims than any other psychic type. Even Mewtwo itself has very clear motivations, Hypno is a silent piper who lulls its’ prey to sleep with an ever-swinging pendulum – not to eat them – but to feast on their dreams.
This one is a very sad tale. It basically makes Cubone quite silly in comparison. Yamask is another ghost type with a story of humans.
According to various bits and pieces about it, Yamask carries a mask that represents it’s former face. Yamask used to be human and it can remember what it was like when it was alive!
If this is the case, if a human dies and it’s soul is not devoured by Lampent, then they turn into Yamask. They sometimes look at their mask and cry… This is supposed to be a kids series?!
Utterly sickening. Gastly was the first ghost pokemon to appear in the series, and though his pokedex entries make it seem a little drab, Gastly has some pretty dark history behind it, and it’s most heartbreaking power is revealed in the original manga series.
Red enters the fabled tower of Lavender Town to find himself surrounded by a spectral mist filled with shambling pokemon. A razor-toothed Psyduck leaps for the throat, but as it leaves the protective mist it’s bodies begins to decay in hideous detail. Gastly, as it turns out, can raise necromantic armies to his side.
It is believed by some scientists that Gastly occupies another dimension altogether, and certainly both Haunter and Gengar seem somewhat more corporeal. Though the evolved forms have greater combat prowess, this little poltergeist has a far more potent weapon at its’ disposal. Death itself…
Pokemon is such a bizarre and messed up world now-a-days that hey, even the fans have started to become slightly warped and jaded. Take it from us though, this is an awesome thing! Come check out what these fans have done with Pokemon, some of it is truly a sight to behold.
“That is not dead which can eternal lie…”
True for Cthulhu, true for Kabutops. So it seems only reasonable then, that eventually worlds would collide and that twisted fans would conceive this dark concoction. Pokethulhu is actually a tabletop RPG system (currently in its’ third edition), one that I’ve been meaning to try out for myself, but if you’re a fan of both Pokemon and H.P. Lovecraft it takes only a little imagination to conjure some brilliant creatures.
While grownups hide in fear you brave the dark wilds, a monster hunter, filling up your pokenomicon and battling the nightmarish spawn for sport. Ia Shub-Poliwrath, Ia Bulbazhar, and hail to you young monster-hunter.
You know what’s creepier than a really weird pokedex entry? Seeing a pokemon made to look like a living, breathing, even natural-looking creature. Nothing more to be said on the subject really, just take a look at what we’re talking about here.
Thanks for joining us once more for another awesome Top 10! From now on, we will do our Top 10‘s based upon what others want us to do. We’ve put up a poll below, so please do take a moment to decide on which is the article for you. We will deliver one next week on whichever our audience chooses. Closing date for the poll is this coming Sunday 26th October.